The Boy I Can't Remember

Chapter 6.

It felt like I had just woken up from a nap. The sun glares into my eyes and I remember that I'm laying down in the middle of a skate park, my eyes gradually focus and I see two figures kneeling over me, people I've never seen before. They wear dark blue uniforms and I realize that they are paramedic officers.

"Carson do you know where you are?" The paramedic with tattoos down his arm asks me.

"I'm in a skate park" I respond, I squint at the sun rays.

"Okay slowly sit up for me" He instructs me.

I do and a wave of nausea comes over me. My left arm tightens as the paramedics have wrapped a blood pressure cuff around it. Ryder, Sheridan and Will stand behind them anxiously watching.

"Your friends informed us that you were convulsing when you passed out. Is this the first time it's happened?" He asks as he checks the blood pressure meter.

"Yes, but it's probably just from my TBI right?"

"Most likely but you're best getting checked over at the hospital," The woman paramedic says.

I groan "I just got out of the hospital yesterday now I have to go back?"

"It's up to you whether you want to come back with us, you don't have to but it is our duty of care to try and persuade you."

I think about my mom and how worried she would be if she found out I ended back in an ambulance on my first day back at school.

I shake my head no "I'll tell my doctor about it at my next appointment, I feel fine now"

"Are you absolutely certain?"

"Yes, I am. Thank you" I say.

The paramedic unstraps the cuff and places their equipment back in their medical bags and the ambulance drives off without me in it.

"Come on I'll walk you back to school" Ryder comes forward.

I nod and stand up. I say bye to Sheridan and Will before taking off with Ryder.

"Sorry about that," I tell him, feeling guilty for the dramatic morning.

He looks at me "Don't apologize for things you can't control."

"The ambulance wasn't necessary."

He shrugs "You looked like a fish out of water, we were freaking the fuck out."

I laugh at this "Fish out of water? That's a good comparison."

When we land back at school I sit on a bench at the front to wait for my mom. Ryder offers to wait with me but I politely reject, I was sure he had better things to do than sit with someone who had already blacked out once in the first hour of hanging out.

                     •~~•

"How was your first day?" My mom asks as we sit at the dining table. "You've been pretty quiet."

I set my fork down "Fine I'm just tired and this headache getting on my nerves. I'm gonna go to bed."

I wait for her approval, she looks anxious but she nods.

I climb the stairs and go to my room and lay down. I so badly want my memories of the past six months to come back but it literally feels like a massive block in my mind. I try to close my eyes but the thoughts won't stop and I give up on it. It is almost 10 pm when without warning I hear noises at my bedroom window I quickly get out of bed and move my curtain, shockingly I see Ryder who has a beanie on throwing pebbles at my window in the darkness as if this was a 2007 movie. I slide my window up confused.

"What the hell Ryder?!" I half-whisper so my mom won't hear me but loud enough for Ryder to understand what I'm saying.

He smiles brightly and says "Rapunzel, Rapunzel let down your hair."

I can't help but giggle "What are you actually doing down there at this time of the night?"

"I'm bored" Is his reply.

"Do you throw rocks at every girl's windows every time you get bored? Normal guys play video games."

"Just the pretty ones."

I grin "I'll meet you down there. Just hold up."

I throw on a jacket, shove a pillow under my blanket to make it appear like a person is sleeping and sneak down the stairs past my mom's room to outside.

"Okay now what?" I ask curiously.

"Lets walk" Is all he says.

And so we do, we walk during the night under the moonlight. I wonder where we're going but I don't ask, because I trust him for some reason. I feel safe with him. After some time we reach a park that is empty, there is a large pond. The trees sway slightly in the light breeze.

I glance at Ryder waiting for him to give some sort of explanation why we're at a random park.

"Is this where you murder me?" I joke.

But he plops himself down on to the grass he lays back so I join him as well. The grass is soft. We both stare up at the night sky that is filled with stars. I feel at peace for once in my life.

"The majority of stars die a peaceful death, they delicately shred their outer gases into interstellar space," Ryder says.

"Wow. I feel like I'm in a John Green book." I reply.

"One in a thousand, the star whose mass is greater than about seven times that of the sun dies in a violent explosion called a supernova" He suddenly says.

"That ruined the moment," I tell him and we both snicker.

We lay there for what seems like forever and I'm happy. Ryder's hand sneaks down to mine and without much thought, I clasp his hand. At that moment all my problems have disappeared and all that's left is me, Ryder and the billions of stars above us.