The Boy I Can't Remember

Chapter 19.

I should go to Ryder's parents house. I think to myself straight after Lily leaves.

My nails were now glittering silver and empty containers of Ben & Jerry's were left standing on the coffee table. Although Lily had managed to keep my mind of my failed love life for the hour my mind just couldn't help but find it's way back to Ryder.

Is it even normal to be constantly caught up on a boy like this? I don't care, all I know is that I want answers. Maybe I could move on from his departure if I had just known why did it.

I'm sulking on the couch when I hear my mom walking in the front entrance, I peer over the top of the lounge and see her standing there with a bunch of folders in her left arm. My mom works as a paralegal so basically she just does an overload of paperwork.

"Is this how you're going to be spending your summer vacation?" My mom asks as she eyes the ice cream boxes.

It takes everything in me to not roll my eyes. When I don't answer she places her work files on the wooden table in the hallway and moves into the living room where she cleans up the mess Lily and I left.

"Look for a job or volunteer somewhere. It would look appealing on your college applications." Mom talks as she drops the containers into the bin.

I continue to lay on the couch. I wish the world would pause whilst I got my shit together.

"Okay." Is all I say before I remove myself from the comfy position I was in and move slowly up the staircase.

I settle on my bed where my laptop sits in front of me, when I log onto it I immediately pull up volunteering positions in the local area. I barely start looking when I open another tab and type in facebook. Ryder Hudson I put into the search bar but his profile doesn't come up, not many profiles come up actually-so that name isn't popular. Of course he blocked me.

Footsteps that move close to my room alerts me and I quickly close the tab.

"Find any?" My mom appears in the doorway.

"I'm looking." I lie.

She nods and leaves.

An animal shelter is looking for volunteers, I don't hesitate to complete to application.

Then, before I change my mind I walk back downstairs where I hear my mom working in the study.

"Mom can I borrow your car?" I shout.

"No." She calls back.

My eyebrows knit together, I enter her study where shes typing away on the keyboard.

"Why?" I ask, "I only need it for twenty minutes."

"Have you forgotten that you are on anti seizure medication and are at risk of having one still?"

I groan, "It's not like I'm driving across the country I just want to see Ryder."

"Oh, what happened to Ryder? I haven't seen him and his car isn't here anymore." She turns around in the computer chair.

"He doesn't need to stay here anymore." I guess it isn't really a lie.

"Hm. Do you want me to drive you sweetheart?"

"No. I can drive myself."

"I said no and that's final." Mom returns to her work.

I cross my arms and lean against the doorframe, "Well how am I suppose to get to places if I can't drive?"

"Catch a bus." Is her answer.

I internally scream. As I leave the study I hear a knock on the door.

"You can get that." I shout to my mom and grumpily move up the stairs.

"Oh Ryder, how are you? Back so soon are we?" I hear mom say happily.

I stop in the middle of the staircase. Am I dreaming?

"Carson!" My mom yells.

My heart is thumping loudly in my chest and it's hard to swallow. I contemplate running up the stairs and hiding in my bedroom. But this is what I wanted; to speak to him. I force my body to move. I head forwards to where that stupid blonde haired boy stands, smiling with my mom like everything is normal. He sees me and his smile turns into a frown.

I don't think, I just do. My right hand shakes as it lifts up and slaps him across the face. Ryder barely flinches but his cheek is soon starting to spot with redness and my mom clamps her mouth with her hand.