The Boy I Can't Remember

Chapter 31.

"The house is sold!" My mom informs me excitedly three weeks after my last interaction with Ryder.

I jump up from my bed. "Really?"

"Yes, I just received a call from the real estate agent."

"Great! When do we leave?"

"In a week. I know it's happening fast and I hope the stress of moving doesn't trigger a seizure but at least you'll have time to say goodbye to your friends."

Friends, I almost laugh. Some friends I have.

"We'll have to stay at your aunties back in Seattle until we find a new place"

"I don't care where we stay, I just can't wait to leave Arizona," I respond.

Mom chuckles. "It's not that bad is it?"

"Compared to Seattle? Yes." What made my mom move to a city in the desert is beyond me, she might have been having a midlife crisis now that I think about it.

"Lunch will be ready in ten okay?"

I nod, "Yup."

Just as my mom leaves my bedroom, my phone starts buzzing on my desk. It's Sheridan.

I pick up. "Hey Sheridan, what's up?"

"Have you seen Ryder recently?" She sounds panicked.

"Of course not," I answer.

"Oh, okay. Thanks anyways."

I'm sick of talking about Ryder but curiosity gets the better of me. "Why do you ask?"

"It's not your problem."

"Sheridan. Tell me," I demand.

"I haven't seen him in two days neither has Will."

I pick at my nail polish. "He's probably with Lily," I say carelessly.

"She hasn't spoken to Ryder since that day at Will's house."

My body stiffens. "Interesting," I mumble. "Look, I'm sure he'll turn up eventually." AlthoughI'm not sure if I believe my own words.

"Yeah, I'm sure you're right." She sounds unconvinced.

Sheridan hangs up and I collapse onto my bed, tired from everything that has happened. And now Ryder is missing. I hated that I'm worried. He doesn't deserve it. I wish I could just turn off my feelings and stop giving a fuck. Honestly, I'm not sure if it's a possibility that I could forgive him. I think about all the times we were together, all the times we kissed, and I think about the very first time we hung out. We skipped school and went to the skatepark and I had my very first seizure. I was completely clueless.

But then I suddenly get an idea, I jump off my bed, throw jumper on and run down the stairs.

"Mom, I'm heading out, I'll be back soon." I let my mum know.

She steps out off the kitchen. "But I just made lunch," she replies.

"Leave me some leftovers," I say and then I'm out the door before she can stop me.

My doctor was very strict about me not driving until I'm one-year seizure free, which means I might never be able to drive again. I had to walk. It takes probably fifteen minutes to arrive at the skatepark. I don't think many people go to this one because they built a newer, better park on the other side of the city.

I walk around and look at all of the empty ramps and then the empty bowl. But then a group of boys catch my attention near the back of the skatepark. They were sitting on a concrete bench. One in particular looks familiar. I take a deep breath before I walk towards them.

"Ryder?" I speak, trying to sound confident. The first thing I noticed is that he cut his hair. He no longer had hair that nearly touch his shoulders, his blonde hair was now short and slicked back messily. He looked fine. And I was both angry and confused.

"Carson? What are you doing here?" He questions, he is genuinely surprised.

His friends stay silent. Which makes me feel awkward. I didn't want an audience whilst I tried to figure out what the hell was going on. I hate to think it, but perhaps he was using drugs again. Maybe these guys are where he gets them from.

"Get up," I demand. I wasn't in the mood to mess around.

"I don't think so," he replies.

I roll my eyes and then hastily grab his arm and pull him up. Which is hard. I drag him out of eavesdrop of the other guys. "You can't just disappear like that! Sheridan and Will are stressing the fuck out."

"Ouch, can you let go." His other hand his placed on his abdomen and he is grimacing in pain.

I let go of his arm. I furrow my eyebrows. "What? What's wrong?"

"Nothing," he responds bluntly.

My hands grab his t-shirt, he tries to stop me but fails. When I pull his shirt up a large portion of his abdomen, around his ribs are covered in black and blue bruises.

"Oh my god! What happened?"

He defensively pulls his shirt back down. "I fell off my skateboard."

"You fell off your skateboard?" I repeat. I obviously did not believe him. "Ryder you need to see a doctor."

"I'm not your problem, okay?"

I look behind him at the boys he was hanging with. "Did they do this to you? Are you getting drugs from them?"

He shakes his head in disbelief. "Is that what you really think of me?"

I shrug. "I don't know what to think anymore Ryder! I mean, I get a panicked call from Sheridan because nobody has seen you in three days and then I find you here with bruises all over your body." I want to mention his hair but I figure it's not an important detail in comparison.

One of his friends interrupts us. "Oi Ryder, hurry up man."

Ryder looks back at him and signals and then faces me again. "Look, I'm fine. You should go." He begins walking away from me.

"Ryder!" I call after him. But he doesn't look back.

I had to call Sheridan and Will. He wasn't going to open up to me.