Because this is My First Time

CHAPTER 5

****Flashback*****

" I don't know what will happen in my life without you. If it's not you, I'd rather choose to be alone. From now on I am completely yours. I love you Sean Cruz " Sabi ko kay Sean

" Yes!! Tayo na talaga?! I love you Zei," then he kissed me on my forehead.

I am a kind of person who likes to be alone. Until Sean came. I can guarantee you that I can absolutely call him a friend. In fact he is my childhood bestfriend.

He is the first person I trusted aside from my parents. He is my first friend, bestfriend, and now boyfriend.

Time flies so fast.

I am with Sean. Here at the amusement park.
It's my birthday. We are here to celebrate my birthday. He is the one who planned this. Hindi naman kase ako mahilig lumabas at mag celebrate.
This day was full of happiness. I can't wish for more.

We are about to go home when I saw him turned pale and weak then he suddenly collapsed. He is holding my hand but he was so weak at nabitawan niya ito nang mawalan siya ng malay.

"Sean?? Are you okay? What happened?? Hey, wake up."
I said while crying.

I cried for help yet no one seemed to hear me.

I don't know what to do until I heard an ambulance coming.
Thanks to someone who called an ambulance.

I feel so miserable. I didn't know Sean is sick. He didn't mention anything to me.

I called his parents and my parents as well.

They looked so puzzled about what happened to Sean.
Sean was brought in the emergency room.
When the doctor came out, my tears suddenly went out from my eyes.

"We're very sorry Ma'am , we have done our best pero hindi talaga niya kinaya, " Doctor

I cried and cried until I can't cry anymore.

I am angry at Sean for not telling me that he is sick. I'm also mad at myself for not knowing he is sick when we used to be together everyday.

That was my happiest birthday and I didn't expect it would also become the worst birthday celebration that I'll have.

Why didn't he told me that he is sick??

Why did he leave me?

Did he?
Did he wanted to die?

The person that I trust is gone.

The man I love is gone.

We didn't even have a chance to say goodbye.

I was badly hurt.

I was broken heartbroken.

I came back to my old self.
The loner Zei.

I can still remember what he said. Maybe he already knew that he'll be gone that's why he left this words to me.

"Zei, whatever happens please always be happy. Do not stuck yourself from any pain. If you ever feel alone don't forget there's always a person whom you can trust and will always be your companion. That someone might not be me. He might only be someone like me who will become your guardian angel. I hate to see you alone. I want you to be with someone whom you will love and trust. Try to find him. If today or tomorrow is not the right time to meet him, he will soon come for you."

"But you are here already. I don't need to find someone else and you know I wouldn't."

"In case I'll be gone...Your heart will tell you on the right time. And also Zei.. someday I want to see you mingle with other people. I don't want you to be like today. Look, you only have me. Paano kung mawawala ako? Try to think of it."_Sean

"Shhhhh.. at sino naman nagsabing mawawala ka? You said you'll never leave me.Promise me you'll always stay. "
I answered but he only gave me his weak smile.

"Zei I hate promises. Some promises are meant to be broken but always remember that as long as I breathe you will never be alone."_Sean.

..

I'm looking forward for that day.

I will forever be alone unless I met that someone whom Sean refers to. :(

I don't know who.
I don't know when.

But as for now I know I am far from being ready.

...
Thank You for reading ^_^