Because this is My First Time

CHAPTER 53

ZEI'S POV

Pagkatapos kong mag-shower ay nag ayos na ako. Ano ba naman kase itong sina Mom and Tita, kailangan talaga may theme yung celebration namin ng New Year. Ganun rin naman yun eh , but I have no choice.

We are told to wear any kind of clothing, a combination of Red and Black. So I have decided to wear this off shoulder red on the top and a mini skirt paired with a flat sandals. It's simple and I prefer this one.

Pagkatapos kong mag-ayos ay tinignan ko yung phone ko. Kanina pa kase nag vibrate. May message yata pero hindi ko kaina nabigyan ng pansin dahil nagbibihis ako. And it's right.
There is an unexpected message from a very unexpected person. Parang ayokong basahin dahil nga I am planning to cut off my connection with him para makalimutan ko na siya but something really drives me to click and open the message.

Mabilis ko itong binasa.

Brylle
Hi Zei. Please see me on the place where we watched the night sky together. Remember? Please. I'll be waiting.

I hesitated to reply and there are so many messages that I attempted to send but I ended up deleting it and I chose to ignore the message at pumunta na ako sa baba.Nandoon na silang lahat. Everything is all set. I looked at my watch.
Well there's only an hour before the New Year comes.

Naupo ako sa tabi ni Mom and I hugged her tightly. I missed her. I missed my mom.

"Zei, what's wrong? Is there anything bothering my baby huh?" She asked.

Umiling lang ako habang nakatingin sa kanya. Ayokong malaman ni Mommy. Hindi pa nga pala niya alam. Ayoko lang na mag-alala siya.
Actually, marami mommy. Maraming mali na nais kong ayusin ngunit hindi ko alam kung paano.

"Nothing Mom, it's just because I missed you so much," I said ang even tightened my hug.

"Uhhhhhh..so sweet girl. I wish I have a daughter," sabi ni Tita.

"Don't worry you will have soon, right Vier? " sabi ni Daddy.

Bumitaw na ako kay Mommy at lahat ng atensyon ngayon ay kay Vier na. Haha and now my cousin is blushing. Seriously?

"Oh , anak, you said you're gonna introduce her soon. I'll look forward for that," sabi ni Tito sabay tap sa shoulders ni Vier.

He brushed his hair using his hands several times. He looks so uncomfortable.

"Hey, come here baby boy. Huwag kang makinig sa daddy at sa Tito mo," protesta ni Tita na ikinatawa naming lahat samantalang si Vier ay naging seryoso kaya tumigil kami sa pagtawa.

I know something's wring. Pero yung iniisip ko ngayon ay si Brylle. Yung text niya at paano kung mapadpad kay Brylle yung topic?

What am I supposed to say?

"Am actually, " sabi ni Vier at napahilamos sa mukha niya. He went to the empty sofa and he tool his seat.
Nakayuko lang siya at nagsalita. "It's complicated."

Lalong binalot kami ni katahimikan at nagtinginan lang kami sa isa't isa.

"Don't worry son, it'll gonna be alright," sabi ni Mom at hinagod yung likod niya.
Our parents smiled to each other. It seems like they knew and understand Vier.

"Natural lang 'yan. Just try to think of a way to solve the conflict. It will even help strengthen your relationship," dagdag pa ni Mom. Parang tinamaan naman ako sa sinabi ni Mommy.

But what if it will never be solved? What if.. What if it's not applicable for the two of us? What if we're really not meant for each other?

I know I have a choice, and this is my choice.

I was about to stand. Kaya lang mas lalo akong napako sa inuupuan ko nang magsalita si Vier.

"So complicated, isn't it Zei?" He said na ikinagulat naming lahat. And now all the eyes are on me. This time hindi ko na napigilan ang pagpatak ng aking mga luha. Nataranta naman si Mommy at si Tita. Natulala sina Tito at Daddy.

"Hey, baby, are you okay? Why are you crying?" Si mom.

"Oh, iha. Is something wrong?"
Si Tita.

"Yes, and it hurts, I don't know what to do anymore, " I said shortly at bigla akong tumayo at patakbong lumabas ng bahay.

"Honey, tell me," rinig ko pang sigaw ni Mommy pero pinigilan siya ni Daddy.

"Just give her time," sabi ni Dad.
Time.
Maybe I just need time but it seems like nauubos na rin ang oras ko.

"But," pagputol ni Mom.

Napatigil ako sa pinto. Nakahawak lang ako sa doorknob.

"Shhhh, let's trust our daughter. She's grown up. She can handle this. Just let her stand on her own. When she can't then let us help her stand," sabi ni Dad. At tuluyan na nga akong lumabas. I'm glad I have my parents and I'm felt so happy to hear that they trust me.

I was about to enter my car when someone called me.

"Zei! Where are you going?" Si Josh. I suddenly wiped all my tears away para sana hindi niya makita but it's too late. Lumapit siya sa akin.

Heto na naman si Josh. He's here again. Lagi na lamang siya ang nandito sa tuwing nasasaktan ako and I feel so guilty about the thought that I can't give back what he gives to me.

I don't know. I cried.

"Shhhhh," he said and he hugged me tightly.

BRYLLE'S POV

This time I am certain. I started driving the car at nang makarating ako sa pupuntahan ko ay agad kong kinuha yung phone ko at tinext si Zei.

Please Zei.
Please give me a second chance.

Tahimik ang paligid. Preska at medyo malamig ang simoy ng hangin. Kitang kita ang kalangitang punong-puno ng mga tala. Maganda at mababango ang mga bulaklak sa gilid. Pumitas ako ng isang pulang rosas. Naupo ako sa isang bench kung saan kami dating naupo.

Maghihintay ako.
Nakayuko lang ako at nakatitig sa phone ko baka sakaling magreply siya pero wala. I tried to call her pero hindi niya sinasagot.

I am worried baka kung may anong nangyari sa kanya pero mas nag-aalala ako sa posibilidad na baka hindi siya dadating. Paano kung hindi siya pupunta dito? I think I will do my second option just in case. I swear I'm gonna have her back.

I won't let myself make a wrong choice again. I regret it that I hurt her. I just want to go back and fix everything but I know I can't. It's already ruined and I won't let the future become ever worse. I shall fix this and start over again.

This I'll make sure it's right.

I waited. There is 10 minutes left pero wala pa rin si Zei. Damn. Nakatitig lang ako sa phone ko nang biglang may tumawag. Sa sobrang sabik ko ay sinagot ko kaagad ito.

"Hello?" Sabi ko.

Finally.