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❝CHAPTER 30.❞
when the first snowflake blurs his vision that chilly morning, yoongi's a little startled. he wipes it off his lashes and turns towards taehyung with a sort of look.
something like are you seeing this? to which the younger teen smiles in response.
its look of slight shock because it isn't often that it snows in seoul, especially not at 3 am in the morning. taehyung leans down to place a kiss onto yoongi cold lips, is shocked by the fact that the latter doesn't kiss back but either way pulls his face mask on, watching in silence as yoongi does the same.
they don't take the masks off even after they mount the train, instead choose to keep their heads down in order to avoid any one recognizing them. they remain like that through the entire ride, not a word spoken between the two even after they get off.
there's tension. they're aware of such but they choose to ignore it. they choose to let it be and hope that maybe it'll be gone by the time they get to yoongi's house, where they'll probably be interrogated and then separated.
taehyung will be forced to go back to his dad and yoongi will be forced to go back to his dark room, where he'll avoid everyone for months to come. he'll forget to eat and sleep. he'll forget how to be a functional human and when his mum finally gets back after weeks of not seeing her, she'll ask why he's gotten so thin but won't do anything about the fact because she's too tired, because she's not a functional human herself and will forget to remind her youngest son to be normal. yes, that's how it'll be; how it usually is when taehyung isn't there to remind yoongi to sleep or eat or smile or be happy.
and when he does see taehyung, maybe in school because his father won't allow him to leave the house for anything other than such, he'll see new bruises and new cuts and new gashes wide open because taehyung has no idea how to fix them himself. and yoongi; he'll simply try not to cry. he'll fix them up and try not to cry. they'll both sneak to the back of the school and yoongi will try not to cry as he hugs taehyung close, holds him tight in hopes that maybe time will freeze and they won't have to separate again.
because that's how it is sometimes. it'll lasts a few weeks, a few months maybe and then taehyung will run out his house again, only to end up on yoongi's bed, shaking and trying to forget everything except for yoongi.
and yoongi doesn't realize it until after he's reaching out to knock on the door but he's trembling. his eyes are glossy because he's trying to hold back tears and he hopes that maybe this is all a dream. he feels a pair of lips at the nape of his neck and suddenly he melts. his worries melt, his heart melts, his brain melts.
he melts.
he's glad that he does, because he can knock on the door without overthinking, can wait without overthinking, can feel taehyung's presence without overthinking. he's just there. he's there breathing and waiting for the door to creak open and for his mother to cry and hold him.
but she's not the one to open the door. instead, it's his brother. the man who resembles yoongi's father so much and maybe that's why he's always pretended to hate him. but at the moment he doesn't.
he lets himself be hugged and caressed and lets his older brother cry onto his shoulder. and he hugs back. he hugs back and sobs and tries to speak only to have his words betray him. he can only cry out a heart shredding 'sorry' and that's all he says. repeats it like a mantra.
and he doesn't even notice his mother until he hears the sobbing woman that runs towards him, so yoongi quickly pulls back from the taller man, just to be embraced by her.
she cries, "i-i'm so glad you're o-okay! i'm s-so glad y-you're both okay!"
and when she says that, yoongi realizes taehyung is still standing behind him, turns towards him with wet eyes and gives him a sad smile. his vision's still blurred by tears but he manages to notice the grin the younger teen gives him back. feels a heat spreading through his body and maybe it wasn't so bad that they'd came back.
maybe he overthought that as well.
the hugging. the kissing. the caressing. it was all welcomed.
yoongi hates to admit it but he missed her; his mother. he missed him; his brother. and he missed this; his shitty apartment and his shitty room. he missed his shitty car and his shitty neighborhood.
a week had felt like a decade, he realizes, a week that he had caused his mother sleepless nights and stressful days. she looks pale, a short gaunt woman who looks older than she really is and yoongi thinks, no, knows it's because of him. because she's been trying to do everything since her husband died to keep her children in school, well fed and in a home to sleep in.
yoongi feels lucky.
and at last, he pulls away completely, wipes his face with his sleeve and gives a choked laugh.
"t-tae and i are gonna go p-put down t-these bags." he hiccups and without thinking, takes taehyung's hand in his, leading him to his room and locking the door once they're inside.
he turns towards taehyung, who smiles widely, and hugs the taller teen, letting more tears flow because he's just so overwhelmed without a real reason to be. he hugs taehyung and he does it tightly, like he's gonna slip through his fingers if he doesn't.
"i love you." he whispers and taehyung kisses the top of his head. "i love you more."
