Playing for Rya

38. Shatter

Song: Explosions by Ellie Goulding

Derek's POV

Derek stood rooted to the spot as he watched Arya leave. It was astonishing to him how well he had managed to make a mess of things with his love life and how his decisions, or lack thereof, had brought him to the place he was at now; holding onto the person he cared for, while on the verge of losing the one he loved.

He blamed himself now for having taken this long to recognize one from the other. He should have known the moment he saw her that day, standing in his hospital, dressed in the hospitals identifying garb, that he and Beverly didn't stand a chance.

He should have flown out to Miami and sat down to have a talk with Beverly the morning after the first night he had accompanied Arya home and put her to bed. Even in her intoxicated state he hadn't been able to take his eyes off of her, and for the major part of the night as he had held her in his arms content just to watch her sleep.

She had been his muse since the first moment he had laid eyes on her lying in his bed gloriously naked, aroused and unsatisfied. Her dark shiny locks fanning out over his sheets as the moon cast a brilliant light over her flawless skin, drawing his attention to her erratic breathing, and her gorgeous hooded eyes as she stared at him with a surprised and confused expression on her face.

He hadn't known it then but he'd became hers in that moment, and in the moments afterwards as he'd fought the urge to touch her, even as he'd searched for any excuse, in his head, to get close to her.

Eight years later and he was right back in the same position, a position he'd probably never left, completely enamored by her, by the feel of her in his arms, the softness of her lips against his, the warmth of her body when she wrapped her naked self around him while asleep and unconscious, by the passion he saw in her eyes when she wanted him, or the mischief when she was up to no good.

It was something he couldn't deny anymore, didn't want to deny anymore. It had always been Arya, she was the love of his life, a fact he should have acknowledged the moment she walked back into his sphere.

Yet he hadn't done that. Instead, he had delayed the inevitable until he had achieved nothing but a world of hurt for everyone involved.

His actions so far had been nothing short of a disservice to both women, both of whom he loved and one of whom he couldn't live without.

He knew what he had to do, yet he hated the thought of it, hated even more that his hesitation had allowed Arya to believe even for a second that she came second place in his life, that she was the other, that he loved another over her.

He followed after her, hoping that he hadn't waited until it was too late, hoping that he could still salvage what they had, hoping that his actions hadn't succeeded in pushing her into another man's arms.

BEVERLY'S POV

Beverly checked the time on her wristwatch as the elevator made it's ascent to the fifteenth floor of La Cura. So far, her trip to New York had been unfulfilling and lacklustre and she blamed that on the trouble she was currently facing with her relationship with Derek.

She'd taken a leave of absence from work along with a few colleagues to attend a two-day medical conference in New York and she had, of course, been excited for the opportunity to kill two birds with one stone since she'd previously been contemplating taking a trip to see Derek. She'd planned the entire thing as a surprise for him, which, in part, was why she had avoided taking his calls, other than the hope that he would miss her enough to come looking for her in Miami.