❥𝐌𝐨𝐨𝐧𝐰𝐚𝐥𝐤 || 𝑀𝐽 𝐼𝑚𝑎𝑔𝑖𝑛𝑒𝑠 /𝒞ℴ𝓂𝓅𝓁ℯ𝓉ℯ𝒹 /❥•

∴♡I'd Rather Be Blind♡∴

Listen to the song. I promise that's how I feel and I hope you get the idea of the vibe of the whole imagine. Apologies if it sucks.

☆☆☆   

As you sit on the beautifully constructed ledge that overlooks the see, you let out a sigh as you watch the people pass you by - a blank expression painted on your face. The evening air continues to whisper, making your already messy bun, even messier. A few of your hair strands fall in front of your face - obstructing your vision slightly but you simply don't care.

You'd thought he was the one.

You honestly did.

The image of one man spins around like a carousel inside your mind - the continuous thoughts making you slightly dizzy. 

Michael was the man you'd loved, in fact, you still did - the feelings you'd had for him were so intense that...you'd never really imagined the day he'd leave you for another.

Oh but he did.

Over time, perhaps he'd gotten tired of you. Perhaps he didn't really want all of you. Perhaps you weren't worth his time or love.

Those were the only assumptions you could make since...he left without explaining. He didn't even show any remorse when he left.

It seemed so easy for him to fall in love with another and it make you question almost everything that you believed to be true. Everything he'd said, was a lie.

His touches were a lie.

His smiles were a lie.

His caresses were a lie.

It was all a lie because, at present moment - he wasn't there with you. No, he was with the one he loved, and that wasn't you.

In your mind, you'd never imagined him falling for another girl but...it happened. And now she was the lucky one and here you were, left to deal with your heartbreak - no one to comfort you. 

Everyone seems to close yet so far away, you just can't put your finger on it. The feeling of void isn't new to you but it certainly doesn't feel nice.

A part of you is furious because he'd made you feel loved, important - special.

But now it was gone.

Now, you weren't special, you weren't loved and the heartbreak was becoming too overwhelming for you.

Michael Jackson.

The name of the one man you'd wanted to erase from your mind completely because the memory of him loving another was just too painful.

A long sigh escapes your lips as tears begin to stream down your face silently, earning a few strange looks from the passers by. 

But that is the least of your worries at this point.

Just as you continue to fiddle with your fingers, your eyes widen slightly and your heart skips a beat as you see him.

Him.

It seemed like every time you tried to forget him, he'd appear out of nowhere. As if fate was playing a sick game of hide and seek with you.

And it hurts even more when you see him with another girl - the girl he now loved. She was shorter than you and, in your opinion, much more beautiful.

Perhaps she made a better match with him than you ever would.

Why was fate so cruel?

Why me? Was the thought that now haunted your thoughts.

Within your line of sight, you see Michael laughing and sharing kisses with this new girl. You desperately wished you could stand up and walk away but, your legs were weak. Your whole body was numb with pain and despair.

Love was beautiful but at the same time, it was also tragic.

With tear filled eyes, you watched the man you dearly loved, loving another girl. His eyes sparkled as he held her hand, apparently whispering sweet nothings in her ear. The way his body moved in sync with hers whenever they hugged or laughed, reaffirmed your belief that the two of you just weren't meant to be.

The girl seemed so happy with him, she was so in love. It was a vivid reminder of how you once felt - and how you were sure you'd never feel again. 

Their kisses seem more meaningful and the way he holds her, it looks as if he never wants to let her go. It's funny how you'd thought your forever was him.

Because right now, he looks as if he didn't remember you ever existed.

Suddenly, as he lifts the girl up, spinning her around playfully - his eyes spot you. 

Now, just imagine how pathetic you look when you're caught off guard.

Damn it!

But...he looks away. His eyes disregard you.

He doesn't even look the slightest bit remorseful. 

And at that moment, you feel your heartbeat cease. Your heart is dead after such pain. Now, you were just an emotionless robot - waiting to disintegrate into nothingness.

Michael had disregarded you. 

He'd seen you but looked away as if you'd meant nothing at all.

And now, you believed that you were nothing.

It hurt so bad that you didn't know where to go after this. You just wished God would have mercy on you and stop you from breathing.

You wished you would die.

But even more, more than anything in the world - you wished that you couldn't see. You desperately, oh so desperately wished that you couldn't see anything - anything at all.

Because seeing nothing would be better than watching the most painful thing on earth. Seeing pure blackness would put you to rest from all the pain that continuously has you under attack. 

The way Michael smiles when he's with her. The way his fingers sit lovingly around her waist. The way he looks into her eyes as if he'd never let her go. The way he giggles when she whispers in his ear.

All of this feels like a thousand knives being driven into the most inner part of your being. It's unbearable and to be quite frank, it's inexplicable.

You can't put it into words no matter how hard you try.

She's so lucky. You think to yourself. He loves her so much.

Imagine dying over and over again yet never finding peace.

That's what Michael's abandonment of you has done.

It's made you feel like you've died a thousand times before and that you'll continue to do so for the rest of your earthly life.

The memories, the caresses, the smiles - it's all but a distant memory now.

It's almost nonexistent.

But above all, you simply wish you could see nothing.

That's all you're silently begging for from the heavens above.

You'd have rather been blind.

↠ ♡ ♡ ♡ ↞

So yes.

Um, this probably sucked but...this is is happening to me right now.

Oh yep.

Imagine getting that sort of heartbreak an hour before you sit an exam.

Lol, now I know for sure I'm not passing my exam.

Anyways, lots of love.

Isha.

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆♡ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆