If Only (Rainbow Series #1)

Prologue

"Bea anak, mag-ayos ka nga, ano ba yang itsura mo? Kababae mong tao. Go, fix yourself!"

I'm just 14 years old and not like any other girls my age, hindi ko hilig mag-ayos or maglagay ng kung ano ano sa mukha, I think it's absurd. But my mom keeps on saying I should practice putting make-ups and try fixing my hair hindi yung buhaghag.

"Mom, hindi ako maarte, pang maarte lang yon so stop bugging me with my looks."

And that's what I thought. Until I reach my 18th birthday. Everything changed, from the way I dress and I even started putting make-ups. I'm just like other girls na sobrang excited sa debut nila, from their ballgowns, the venue, the 18 roses of course.

"Mom, do I look okay?" I started being conscious to myself.

"Miss pakikapalan ng kaonti pa yung blush on and my hair paayos po ulit, thanks!" I can't even go out of the house without wearing any make-up on.

I guess, puberty hits me?

My debut was a night to remember. Mom and Dada approved Jameson to court me since I'm already in the right age. I knew what I felt for Jameson was love. He was my first boyfriend and my first heartbreak. Surprisingly, I didn't feel anything. Yes, I cried once but that's it, there's nothing other than that.

Nagtaka pa ko kasi yung ibang friends ko iyak sila ng iyak sa harapan ko na parang katapusan na ng mundo whenever their partners broke up with them, then ako? I felt like I'm not even affected at all.

One day, nagising nalang ako na parang hindi ko pa talaga kilala yung sarili ko. Then a thought suddenly came, If only I could be a boy one day, maybe I'd understand how it feels loving a girl.

I'm dating the captain of our university's basketball team. He's sweet and charming, every girl's dream. And I am a girl, but why do I feel like I'm not attracted to him or to anyone anymore? Is it natural for a girl as hopeless romantic as me na walang crush, wala ng balak mag-boyfriend?

Even my friends who are gays are fond of boys, why don't I?

I didn't realize that I'm drowning with my own thoughts...

"Ms. Sandoval, please accompany our new student Ms. Imperial hangga't hindi pa siya masyadong familiarize sa university."

Abnormal na ata ako, ayoko naman tumandang dalaga. But Chad is okay, siguro pag nagtuloy tuloy yung dating stage namin, maybe I can develop any feelings for him.

"Hey I'm Haley, nice to meet you!"

Jusko patay ako pag pinaasa ko yung captain. So this is it Bea! Maybe later I'll go to the mall and buy new dresses and make-ups na alam kong ikakatuwa ko at ni mo---

As I got back to reality. I'm startled seeing a beautiful woman in front of me. My gosh, my mom always told me that I am pretty and so do the people surrounds me pero bakit parang nakakainggit yung ganda nito?

Nahiya ako bigla sa ayos ko.

"Haley? Oh I'm Bea! What do you need?"

She's simply pretty. Why does my heart feels like it's in a race? Bakit nag-iinit yung pisngi ko? I look around the faculty, nakabukas naman yung aircon.

"Ma'am Amelia said you should accompany me in going around the campus."

Her eyes twinkles like a star, her smile hypnotizes me.

An hour, a day, months have passed. As I'm getting to know Haley more, the more I found who I really am, the more I'm developing forbidden feelings. These are so new to me, All I know is I'm happy whenever I'm with her.

I just know myself more the moment I met her.

I'm a girl and I'm in love with a girl...

If only, I can be the one for her. If only I'm a boy, I swear I'll be a better man. If only...

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