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{16}

Back in the kitchen we got round to actually cooking the pancakes. I don't like eating but I can do the cooking and baking part. I love it. Its something to do when you are bored. If no one else is in the house I can at home but at another times it causes havoc. Mum yells at me to get out and then once i leave she yells again about the fact I have left everything out. Well I left when you told me to and now you want me back? Oh right well I was just trying to move out the way of you. I probably don't help my self all of the time in situations like that but she never compromises so I don't really either, like mother like daughter. I can see who I get it all from now. Okay I need to be more kind towards this.

Anyway back to the pancakes. They were really good. I managed two before couldn't eat anymore. I think it might be a long road to recovery on this one. Eating is not going to come easily after the amount of time I have spent not really eating properly. Hopefully one day it will be nice to eat food without feeling bad or simply not being able to. But i don't know maybe it will be easier after the first week? Who knows.

After breakfast teeth are brushed with spare toothbrushes and old clothes are throw back on until I can get some more at home. Joanne is busy collecting whatever she needs to leave the house with (which surprisingly is not too much) when she asks about what we might need to tell my parents.

"So, when you get home, do you want to pack for the week then Millie?" I nod. "Its Monday tomorrow. So that means school. You pointed out where it was yesterday and its walkable. School clothes? Cause you have to wear uniform here as well. Its something i have noticed when i pass the school at starting time. Its so strange to think you have to wear the same things everyday. No way to express your self. That sucks but rules are rules i suppose. I suppose you'll just need things to wear after school then. Of course this all depends on weather your parents say you can stay." she says getting ready to walk out of the door thinking and over thinking everything. "We will go on a shopping trip later this week you can have whatever you want so at least you have clothes to keep at my house too. I'm deadly serious about looking after you. You have everything you came with?" she finishes.

"What you mean the one rucksack i came with yeah i do." i laugh back. "You don't have to do this for me, i have learnt how to fend for myself. It means a lot but you have your own life. You shouldn't have the responsibility of a random kid. You sound like you're over thinking this a lot as well. Don't worry." i say back in a all honest on the top layer manner. I really want to stay with her but I also respect she has a lot to do.

"I don't care if you have learnt to fend for yourself, you shouldn't have to. 'From what I've seen so far the good ones all ways seem to break,' to be quoting Florence. And no matter how much you say you won't be one day you will break and then i will be here. And maybe you will be here in this house with me before that happens." she says the first bit in a matter of fact manner and then she switches to a dreamy manner for the second part. I never realised that she was so thoughtful out loud.

"Joanne i love you and i would love for us to be together for a long time. But how long is a long time? Death is inevitable and forever is only a life time in the rarest cases." i say back in being dramatic just to break the love full environment. I'm really not used to a love like this. I find it hard to take love.

"Ok we will be a for now then. But i want to be your life time. Your not my lover so it would be a different type of forever anyway. I love you and your little way of looking at things. I bet you write poetry as well." she says back half snapping into life again. With this she realises that we are still stood my the door and need to leave. As we walk out i decide to fully snap us into life again.

"And anyway you are older than me so you are going to die first" I say. With anyone other than Joanne this would be strange and out of the mood of saying how much we love each other. But its Joanne so its fine.

"Righty on that positive note..." she laughs at my fact of life.