Saved by Gaga

{55}

"Millie come on. We're going. Wear something that you can wear on TV." Joanne shouts up the stairs to me.

I walk down in a baggy pair of jeans with rips and lace under them, a low cut flowing top and a wide-brimmed hat. "Anyone else and that would look a mess. Only you manage to make it work." She laughs throwing me a pair of brown boots.

Joanne has her first press interview today. It's pre-album so no one is allowed to give anything away. I'm not on air but pictures will be online of us as apparently, I'm not taking the back entrance this time.

"Joanne I don't know if I can do this. Like people will be able to see me and I don't like how I look."

"Millie, Jesus. You look beautiful, come on. People won't be bothered about how you look they'll be more interested in getting as much information out of you as possible." she smiles and twists my hair around her finger.

It's the first time I've really appeared in public outside of Joanne's Instagram. I've checked my Little Monster account this morning and everyone seems to know that I'm going to be there. It's scary. Even though the response was a really positive one and they all seemed happy I was going. It's still all these people knowing who I am. I have already met a lot of the team that I will see today yesterday. They all had to fly over because of Joanne still needing makeup and prep away from home. We went out for dinner and it was like meeting her second family. People will never realise what it's like to spend so much time with people on the road as she does.

Joanne leaves me to go and gather the things she'll need to add to her outfit that she wants to see the press and swarming crowds of Little Monsters with; this time she doesn't need much, clothing involved in that too. I sit and calm my breathing for awhile on the stair step. I pull my boots on, stand up and inhale deeply as I look in the mirror. I'm healthier than when I first came here. It's been a week since my detention and a couple of friends have said I look better. It turns out I don't need to gain that much weight I just need to eat better. I have gained weight, although not much it's only been a week, and that's why I look more like old me, now I have to change my relationship with food. I've accepted this is going to take time and I know that it won't be hard, relapsing will happen but I think I'll be fine.

"Mils you're going to be fine. No one ever does anything bad. The fans in England never have crushed me they're all too polite." she tries to make me smile and it works.

Sara lets herself in and shouting to let us know she's here. It only takes one look for her face to change from smiling on a Friday morning to looking annoyed like it was a Monday. I can't help but laugh under my breath. I know exactly what she is annoyed about and only an hour ago I was telling Joanne she would be in trouble for it.

"Right Stefani" Joanne nearly smiles as she knows that they'll be a problem in a minute. "I have been telling you for years that if I'm about to do your makeup then you need a bear face. And now you seriously have a face full of actual makeup. Not even just a base layer. I can't." she finishes walking into the kitchen knowing to make herself a drink.

I mouth an 'I told you so' to Joanne a let her go and apologize. "Sara I went out this morning so I decided to just put some eyeliner on." To be fair Joanne went to the cafe around the corner to get breakfast with a friend.

"I'm a makeup artist. I know when you have more than eyeliner on. And since when did you go out before 10?" Sara rightly questions.

"I've been getting up at seven cause of Millie going to school and I've discovered it's better to actually get up in the morning." At the start I felt really bad about Joanne wanting to get up early in the morning but she's decided she likes it more. "I went to see someone for coffee and breakfast."