Saved by Gaga

{50}

Gaga's point of view:

I hear a crash in the kitchen. I heard Millie end the call or stop speaking at the least a few minutes ago. I was letting her just have some alone time because I know that phone call can not have been easy. She has been putting off calling her mum and she did run the risk of her being called before she called her but its the risk she took. I jump up and run to the kitchen.

I run in and see Millie's body collapsed on the floor. Blood is coming from her wrist and a knife is on the counter. I grab the tissue off the side and go to her wrists. I have to stop the bleeding. She is breathing. She has not lost too much blood either so she probably just fainted from the shock of how deep she had cut her self, or that's what I hope.

"Grandma, listen I need a first aid kit as quick as possible!" I yell at her.

She comes dashing though with a first aid kit and looks shocked as hell.

"Grandma is ok. She is going to be fine I just need a bandage to stop this bleeding. Get one out quick." I tell her in a calm voice. I ignore the fact its my daughter is laid on the floor bleeding away.

I take a wipe out of the first aid kit and wipe her 1 really deep cut. There are 2 others but they are no too deep and are just a band aid job. I put a lot of pressure on it and it stops bleeding so much. I wrap the bandage around it and hold that tight. I then grab another band aid and open it with my teeth. I put one on the cut that is only bleeding a little, well a little compared to the one I have just treated. I do another and put it on the other cut. I have never had any training in this but its simple putting on a bandage. I swear that I will do some training after this. I google the recovery position because I have heard that is what you put people into. I watch a quick video on how to do it and then I do it. I roll her away from the blood that has gone on the floor. There is not too much but its better not to get Millie covered in it. I leave her there and decide not to call the ambulance. She will wake up soon hopefully and when she does she is trained in this so she knows what to do with herself. I know she does not want to be in hospital again.

Grandma and I start to wipe up the blood that is on the floor and I offer Grandma a explanation to this. She understands. I tell her that I am going to be a mess if I think about it. Tears start to roll down my cheeks. That phone call must have been bad but it hurts that she felt like she could not come to me but she had to go to the blade. I tell my Grandma this and she gives the perfect response.

"From what I have heard about self harm, it is a addiction. And from what people have said its way of relief. She does not have a problem with not taking to you, I am sure, but cutting lets all that stress and relief out. It is just working though that with her. I am here too because she needs you and you need her but Stefani, being a mother is not easy. I'm here for you always and of course Millie too. Its especially not easy when Millie has been though what she has, oh and don't feed me rubbish about that being your fault either. I'm not taking that. Look how far you have come! And even though Millie had a lot of problems she has come out such a strong little girl. I could tell that so much by just taking with her. She knows she is strong and female and definitely does not need permission. She might get into trouble for the last one with you though. I would never wish any of that on her but it did make her so so strong." she tells me while squeezing my hand. This is just what I needed to hear. I hug her and we don't let go until I hear Millie's bracelet jangle on the floor.

I see her open her eyes and sit up. "Millie take it easy you fainted at the sight of blood I presume." I tell her. A look of realisation comes over her face.

I smile at her. "Its ok Millie. I get it. Its ok. We are going to do it remember?"

She comes over to be obviously fine. She not crying but she looks ashamed and so sorry. "Joanne, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I shouldn't have, not after last night and all. Sorry sorry it was too much after the call. Sorry." I says into me.

"Millie its ok. Well the knife problem is not so ok but it will be. You need to try and talk to me. Hospital?" I ask her the one word question.

"No I don't think so. I fainted from what I had actually done not from the blood loss. And from what I had done to you too. I didn't go down hard. Let me have a look at this dressing Miss Germanotta." she says with mock seriousness. I love how she manages to let everything go or at least put it somewhere else for the time being.

"Well Miss Germanotta you have done a ok job. It could have done with wraping a bit tighter but the blood has mainly stopped." She smiles and she takes off the bandage which is now fairly covered in blood to put a tighter better one on.

"Millie, promise me no more knifes." Grandma says to her.

"Well I can't promise I am not going to use one to cut up my food. But no more knifes on skin. Promise." She tells her.

Writers note: Omg this book is on its 50th part! I never meant it to be this long sorry but i have really got into it. I will now proably take it to 100?! If you have read this far Thank you so much i know it's no piece of art xo Please dont forget to vote if you are enjoying it.