Protect Me Carl

you can let go

It's been four days. Carl still hasn't pulled through.

"Theodora," Maggie began. "Do you want some more food? We have extra."

"save it for breakfast. I'm gonna go talk to Carl." I went to our room. he just played there on the bottom bunk. I kneeled down next to him.

" Hey babe." I started. "I really miss you. We all do. Oh! Congratulations, you have a new baby sister. But Lori... anyway, we're waiting to name her until you come to. Daryl' s already started calling her little ass kicker!" I smiled. I took his hand. "Look, I don't even know if you're still in there, and every time I talk to you, I'm always telling you 'you've gotta make it'. But I know that is a lot of pressure, and that's hard for you. so if you can't make it, it's okay, Carl." At this point, tears welled up in my eyes and started trickling down my face. "I'll take care of them, I promise. You can let go. I love you, and if you can't come back, it's okay. You do what's best for you, and if you need to move on, go ahead. I'm not saying I want you gone, I really REALLY don't, but I want what is best for you, and if coming back to me isn't it, then that's fine. I just want you to be okay. I don't want you to struggle, so if coming back is too hard for you, you don't have to. I just... I love you so much, more than anything, but it's selfish of me to just pray for you back if you would be suffering. do what's easy, Carl. You don't need to hold on any longer, just do what's good for you. I love you. and I love Rick and your sister. Lori was like my mom. I can take care of them if you decide to drift away. Just... Do what's right." I kissed his hand and left the room. I saw Maggie right outside of the room. she must have been listening in. She also had tears in her eyes.

"I'm so sorry Thea." She gave me a hug.

"I just can't believe it. Why did they all go to him? Why not Glenn?" I cried. "They'd be able to handle it if they handled it together!"

"I don't know sweetheart. I'm just S0 sorry."

"I love him."

"I know. I know. and he will come back to us."

"I just told him that..."

"I heard. that was beautiful. he's very lucky to have you. and he knows that. and this may sound corny, but his love for you is just so strong, that that will get him through."

"I hope so."

"I know so."

"I'm gonna go feed ass kicker."

"I just did, don't worry."

"I'll tell Carol and Sophia then, I know they care so much about her. I don't want them to worry."

"I'll tell them. What you have to do is eat that extra food. its important you stay strong. okay?"

"Okay." That's what I did.