Secretly: I love you [COMPLETED]

TWENTY TWO

After a few months, my long-awaited high school graduation will take place. The ceremony will be held tomorrow with all the senior students of Seoul School of Performing Arts.

I'm happy because I'm one of the students who is graduating but sad because tomorrow is my last day in Seoul. Yes, you have read it right. The day after tomorrow is my flight from Seoul to the US. That flight is my reward from the audition last time so I grabbed the opportunity to study and explore more about music and also to forget about him. Yes, this is now the real decision that I made and I will not step back anymore. I don't want to hurt him and I don't want to push myself towards him when I know that I will never have a chance to be with him so I think it is the better thing to do.

As I look at the window, the wind is silently blowing while trees are dancing on its rhythm. I walked by my study table and glanced at the smiling moon above. It is a full moon but I can sense the sadness behind its brightness. Out of nowhere, the words that I only uttered was "I will miss Jangjun. I'll do." A star brightens when I finished the statement, making me smile sadly. I looked down at my table and saw my love letters for him. I sat and read all my cringed letters. I suddenly want to write another letter, a farewell letter.

I take my pen and paper letter. My hand freely writes what my mind is commanding. The memories of him comes back so sudden and my paper starts to get ruined by the tiny droplets. I wipe my tears with my free hand while the other continues its task. I stare at the stars for a moment, realizing how it exactly represents Jangjun. A shining star that can't be reached by a girl like me; I sighed. My eyes drops back to my paper and to my surprise, my letter is done. I folded it and inserted to an envelope.

After collecting all my letters, I stored it in a box and placed it above my cabinet. I continue to fix my things and sleep afterwards.

❤❤❤

The graduation happens. We are all gathered at the school auditorium where the ceremony is happening. Too many speeches happened first until Jangjun stands and walked to the stage. He smiled at everyone and breathes out. He flipped his speech copy and begins to greet everyone. "Good morning to the school administrators, to our teachers and mentors, and to my fellow classmates." He glance to the audience for a moment. "First of all I want to thank everyone who gives me this opportunity to stand in front of you and give back my gratitudes towards this speech. Thank you." He continues to speak and thank everyone who supported and encouraged him to study harder and achieve the highest honors.

In the midst of his speech, an urgent call suddenly comes up. I tried to control it but it's too hard. I bit my lip and whispered, "I need to pee." My classmate beside me allowed me to stand and when I'm up, I was awaken by Jangjun's loud voice, saying, "And to this girl who's really important to me, I want to thank her for making my high school life colorful." He's staring at me and I feel that everyone is also looking at me. I glanced at them and they are plastering different emotions. " She does not know how special she is to me and I regret every days that have passed without showing it to her."

"Yie!" Everyone shouts in unison which wakes me up from my day dreaming. My urgent call triggers and I excused myself. "To this girl, I personally want to thank her for giving all her best which was neglected by others. They just don't know how beautiful-hearted she is. Thank you so much." I was being hammered at my place after hearing his last sentences. Is he referring to me? I'm the one who's giving my best and the one who's always being neglected. I-is that me? He is staring and so do I. We're staring at each other like we're the only people inside the auditorium. My thoughts are scrambled and I can't even utter one word.

"Hey Sujeong!"

"Oh?" My thoughts comes back suddenly. It's Dongmin, standing beside my and smiling brightly. "Oh how long have you been there?" I asked while fixing myself. "I just passed by and I saw you standing there. What are you doing there?" I shake my head. "Wait a minute, I need to go to the comfort room." I left while tilting my head. For sure I made a scene again.

I walks out of the room when someone stopped me, it's Jangjun. He walks towards my face trapping me by the walls. "What— Sujeong-ah..." I gulp upon hearing my name. "W-why?" He leaned closer and aimed for tight hug. I was stiffened by his sudden action. "Jangjun, Yoojung might caught— I don't care. Just give me this precious little moment with you." I don't know but my heart is throbbing so loud. My mind isn't thinking straight; my body isn't moving. I feel like a stone that moment. "I will loose everything."

"What?" He's suddenly murmuring confusing words. He hugged me tightly. He then guided my arms to hug him back. "I'm sorry..." He sobbed. "I'm sorry for everything."

"Hey what are you saying? I'm okay and you did not do something wrong." I'm really confused then he released his warm hug. He stared at me and leans closer, inch by inch. "J-jangjun— Sujeong!" His face suddenly pulled upon hearing someone calling my name. He pulled me at the storage room beside the comfort room to hide. We're both catching our breaths like we're being chased by a dog. "I want to go back."

"Please..." He pleaded, holding my hand. "Please what?" He looked down for a moment and says, "Please stay." then he left. My mind becomes more confused. I cannot think until my feet initiatively walks back to the auditorium.

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