Secretly: I love you [COMPLETED]

THIRTY

As soon as we got outside the other police officers surrounds us and protect us. I can also see those five person with Dongmin a while ago being caught by the policeman. However none of these people was Dongmin. He wasn't caught yet.

My eyes wander trying to find the culprit but as soon as my eyes laid on him, unexpectedly he shoots the gun he was holding. My eyes shattered and my body awaits for the bullet to pass through me but I felt nothing.

I somehow felt relieved but the noise of the people around me, awakens me. As my eyes went wide open I saw Jangjun lying on the floor, bloody. The commotion around suddenly went mute and the place went blurry and slow. My tears burst out upon seeing Jangjun bathing in his own blood and lifeless. I feel down on my knees crying over Jangjun.

My shaking hands carry his head and rest it on my lap. He eyes was all shut and he doesn't give any reflexes or a single move. "J-jangjun-ah... w-wake up!" I can feel my voice already gone. No sounds coming out of my mouth. "P-please Jangjun! Wake up, we still have dreams together! I just felt the overwhelming happiness when we became together. Why are you here in front me lying without any life? Are you leaving me again? No Jangjun!" I was silent for a moment, trying to hold onto my tears but I gave up. I burst out shouting Jangun's name, carrying his lifeless body within me, trying to ask for any magic or miracle to bring back his life but got no one of it.

"Lee Jangjun!!!!" I shouted with all me remaining strength and someone hugged me to and released my hand from Jangjun. I saw him being carried away from in a stretcher. And I was just back there crying over him. "Jangjun will come back! I know he will! He promised me!"

"Yes, he will." With my senses being slightly pulled together, Booseung assured me that Jangjun will recover and will be back.

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After several months...

"Happy birthday, Sujeong!" My brother greeted as soon as I went down from my room! I just simply smiled at him and he pouted. "Yah! Why the long face? It's your birthday but your lips are so long like a horse."

"Booseung, enough!" Mom from the kitchen shouted. I just stuck my tongue out and proceed. Booseung sighed and goes back to the kitchen.

"Happy birthday, honey!" My parents greeted in unison and I just smiled at them. "Don't you have any plans on going out with your friends today Sujeong?" Dad asked and I just looked at them blankly. "Honey, you need to go out and have some fun." Mom said. "I am mom. I'm going outside and making fun." Both my parents looked at each other and keep quiet.

After that morning, I left the house and goes to the place where I can feel the warmth and love with Jangjun. As soon as I arrived I sat and talked with him. "How are you? Have you eaten my food gifts to you? Are you enjoying your day? How's the weather there? Are you happy?" I suddenly choked in tears. "I miss you. It's been months but I still can't accept the fact that... that... you're gone." I wiped my tears. "You promised me that you will be with me forever but where are you now? I miss you so bad Jangjun, I do." Finally my tears raged out and cry all alone.

"When I thought we will be happy, things just happened tragically. I thought our fate is now finally within me, but it was just all "what if's and trials". Now, I'm here still waiting for you who will never come back again." My voiced cracked in pain. "Wherever you are now, I hope you're happy and enjoying. Even I can't see you, I can feel how happy you are. I'm sorry for those times I got immature and worthless. I only brought you pain and misery. I'm really sorry. Lastly, I know this is not the perfect timing to say this but there's no perfect timing anymore. I love you so much Jangjun. I do! It never changes, ever since... it is and it'll be always you... Good bye."

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Love isn't always bringing you happiness. It's the other way around. Love was granted in everyone but in different outcomes. If you would think love is unfair then it is. Happiness and Pain are like identical twins. You maybe happy first but in the end gets pain and vice versa. It will build you or it will destroy you. Love is so vague and no one can ever fully understands it. It's just a matter of acceptance and adjustment.

I hope my story gives you a lesson and I hope this inspires you to be on the positive side of viewing what is love. Thank you so much for witnessing my story until next time.

— Ryu Sujeong.