קול הדממה

34 - Shadow

24/05/18 ; 27/05/18

Sometimes it feels like too much
To handle
To live with
To feel
And the perfectly carved glass
That keeps all pain outside of me
Starts to crack
And then the cracks become fractures
And the fractures spread across the surface
And then the glass shatters
Into countless burned black shards
At last, my heart is out in the open
Crushed and dead inside
As they all shot arrows right at it
As it bled for too long
For too many reasons
Only then the big black monster
Comes preying on this broken little heart of mine

The big black monster
Rose from the shadows
And as long as I stayed in the shadows
Hiding my pain from the burning light of day
I was susceptible to the blackness
All but asking for it
To take ahold of my heart
Of my whole self

All hope is lost
For even when I stumble back into the shining light
The darkness still holds onto me
Strangling the life out of me
So that I cannot ask for help
Not in any way
Not from any one
So I stay silent
The darkness creeping in
Sinking its claws
into my raw, bleeding soul

Am I still myself
Still the same person
Inside the same old body
Even in this twisted
Deformed state?
Or maybe I'm no more than a shadow
Of who I used to be
A dull shade of a person
I don't even recognize
When I look in the mirror