I stare in disbelief. My heart literally stops as I stare at what Firebrand is showing us.
It's an iteration of Vinny torn up and bloody laying on the bed, covered by a blood-soaked sheet. I put my free hand over my mouth and try to hold in the sobs that are coming. Habit remains stoic, not saying a single thing.
I knew I'd see Vinny dead. I knew it.
But why is Firebrand showing us his version of his body? Why not just show Habit the one who had a stroke? And why are we even here in the first place?
"He's ..." I choke on the words and step back, away from Firebrand and Habit, away from my dead friend. I just have to get away.
"Y/n," Firebrand says with a softness I've never heard him use before. "Please, there's a reason I brought you guys here."
"Why, so I can see my dead friend?!" I shout. "So I can stare at his fucking corpse while you talk about the Collective? I don't know what or who killed him, but they're going to be ripped apart by my bare hands."
"Y/n," Habit says.
"Habit. Come on, this ... this isn't what he'd want. He wouldn't want us to mourn and cry, he'd want us to figure things out. But it's so hard for me to do that when there's constantly proof of his death shoved right in my face."
"I'm sorry," Firebrand says.
"Sorry doesn't bring Vin back."
This is my fault. This is all my fault.
"This is my fault," I rasp. "Things would've been different if I'd made my feelings clearer."
"Hey, look at me. This is not your fault, okay?" Habit says. "There're gonna be bodies. There are gonna be lots of deaths, and you gotta get used to it. Because it's not going to change anything. Blaming yourself doesn't help anything."
"Yeah, a lot of bodies ... but not Vinny."
I look at both of them.
"Can somebody please take me to my proper home? I just need to be alone."
Firebrand snaps his fingers, and I'm in the room where Habit and I ... well. I sink to the floor and start sobbing. I'll feel bad about it later, whenever I can afford to feel bad. But right now ... right now I need to be a normal girl grieving over the loss of her normal best friend.
