Of course, I can't stay there forever and so I have to let him go clean up while I check on Vinny. He sits in his room alone, staring at the wall. The very air radiates sadness and depression.
"I'd be dead if you hadn't come along," he says.
"What?"
"I'd have actually done it this time. I would've killed myself if I didn't have you."
"Vinny ..."
"It's true." He looks at me, his eyes puffy and red from crying. "I just ... wanted you to know that."
"No, you wouldn't have, Vinny. You're strong. One of the strongest people I know" I say.
"But does that matter, in the end? Whether or not someone was strong? What even is strength? It borderlines sadism. Letting yourself get hurt over and over and over again .... And for what? So you can just die later?"
"Hey, calm down. I know it's hard and it seems bleak as hell, but it's going to be okay, and I'm here now. I'm here for you. And I'm gonna fight for you, I'm gonna help keep the demons away."
I wrap him in my arms and hold him close to me. He's my best friend, and the idea of losing him is terrifying to me. I love Vinny, and I can't lose him too.
But I try to ignore the tears that stain my shirt nonetheless.
_____________________
A/N: Watching Night Mind explain EMH for the seventh (haha, get it?) time. It's a six hour long video holy mother of Habit. And isn't it funny how Vinny's nose ring just popped up in the middle of nowhere? Nick (Night Mind) was saying that and someone in the chat said it must've been a nocturnal Habit prank.
I'm sorry this chapter is short and a real downer but I'm feeling like Vinny here and it's just not pretty. My life is just royally fucked up right now and it's actually someone's fault but it's not like he gives a fuck about it.
If anybody wants to talk or check on me then go ahead, 'cause I'm not okay. I say that I am so I get left alone because it hurts to talk.
I promise the next chapter won't be a downer or a filler, I'm just trying to go by Habit's new mantra, New year, New me. That was some funny shit.
Love you all.
Xoxoxoxo ....
