I don't know what to do. I find myself locked in the attic and crying yet again. He's gone. Habit's gone.
And now I realize just how much I loved him. How much he mattered to me. And I took it all for granted, and now it's gone.
I wake up when someone's hand rests on my shoulder. I don't want to open my eyes, I don't want to see someone that's not Habit. I don't want to be confronted by that reality - not now, nor ever. I just want and need him back. I need to find a way that he and Evan can be separate from each other. So that one doesn't have to suffer for the other to live.
I'm going to find a way, I promise myself.
I open my eyes and see Vinny there, looking sad. But I'm still angry at the giant teddy bear. Which, honestly, feels like kicking a puppy. Just sayin'.
"What do you want?" I ask, my voice monotonous.
"I'm sorry, y/n. I know I hurt you, and I'm so sorry for that. I doubt I'll ever forgive myself for it. But do you want to come with me? I have an idea."
"Can't you just tell me?"
Moving hurts. Breathing hurts. Everything hurts.
Habit is gone.
"Nope, I have to show you," Vinny says, holding his hand out.
I sigh and take it, surprised by how cold it is, and we head downstairs. I don't know where we're going or why, but I do know that all I feel is numbness and pain. Numbness and pain ...
