I'm standing in the shower, letting the scalding hot water fall all over me. My tears mix with the steam and water and I finally just sink to my knees, ignoring the pain and embracing the shadows over my soul.
Never before has my life been so dark that it seems like even my vision has dulled. I wish I could go back in time and hug him one last time. Tell him he's my best friend and thank him for being there for me.
I wish I could do so much that I took for granted when he was alive.
"I'm so sorry I failed you Vinny ..." I whisper.
The water running is my only answer.
~ ~
I wake up in my bed wearing one of Habit's shirts and my jeans. I'm nice and warm, and if not for the fact that my hair is stuck to my face and my face is wet from tears, I would be okay. Nice and cozy.
But I'm not.
"Y/n?" Habit says softly as he walks into the room. I look at him, wearing all black and also speckled with blood, and sigh. I can't help it, I just can't today.
"Yeah?" I ask anyway.
"Come on, it's time to eat, love."
"No. I'm not hungry," I lie.
"That's not true," he says. "Come on. I ordered pizza and you're allowed to have some, unlike Noah and Firebrand. I will carry you downstairs."
"Habit, I'm not in the mood - "
He picks me up, scooping me in his arms and carrying me to the door. I just laugh as he motorboats on my stomach. It feels good to actually laugh for once in what feels like forever.
I'm still laughing as Habit starts to kiss me on the cheek.
We enter the kitchen and he sets me down, placing his hands on either side of my head.
"I got you a cheer up present."
"Pizza?"
"Well, that's part of it. Are you ready, ' cause I don't think you're ready."
"I'm like SpongeBob, I'm ready, I'm ready," I say with a laugh.
"Okay love. Turn around."
I turn and I scream. Because there, sitting at the table, is Vinny, alive and well.
