Btw if anyone's wondering, Jeff is life in this book. He's alive in our heart. So. Ya. He lives ✌🏻
Jeffatkinsdeservedbetter
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I got pulled back to reality when my boyfriend Jeff knocked on my window. I wiped my tears with both back of my hands. No it wouldn't hide the fact that my eyes were puffy, my nose and skin is pinkish, and that my lips are swollen.
I went to open the window. Immediately after he came in, he wrapped his hands around my head to push me loser to his chest, so we just stood there. Together, like that. "Don't worry me like that again, princess.." he mumbled, his head buried at the top of my head. I felt my throat and eyes were burning again, wanting to cry again, as I smelled his sent. As I just stood there to feel myself on his arms. "I'm sorry..." I said, my voice starting to crack. "I'm so sorry..." I started to sob on his chest. I felt both of us drop down to the floor
"Hey, hey," Jeff said, lifting my head up to look at him, caressing my cheek, but still that wouldn't stop me from balling my eyes out. "Sorry for what babygirl? Look at me Y/N" "I'm sorry, I- I killed her- I- .. I'm the cause of her death Jeff.. I killed my best friend.. I'm this horrible.. How can I live with myself when I killed my own best friend?.. I didn't deserve her. She didn't deserve this. Oh god, take me!" I was full on edge now. I was sobbing, my cheeks filled with tears, my eyes blurry.
"Y/N, stop, just listen to me! I know you didn't meant that to happen. I know you, I know what kind of heart you've got, even if you don't show me a lot of things, which I understand and respect. You're a good person Y/N, you always were. You're Y/N, how in hell can you be the bad guy. Please stop saying those things, you know it isn't true angel..." he said pulling a hair back my ear.
My head dropped and my voice got soften. "How am I gonna live without her Jeff?.. how am gonna get through this mess?.. she's there, and I'm here.. do I even deserve to be here?..." "of course you do. You didn't mean any of that Y/N, of course you deserve to stay. You're here. You're here with me. There's a lot of people there who wants you to stay strong, including Hannah. I know she was close to you, and I'm so sure that it's hard, but something things you never wish to happen just happens. And sometimes those have meanings. Maybe this, is a reason for you to stay alive," he said pulling my closer to his shoulder, and bruising my hair with his hand. "You don't need to blame yourself angel. I'm here. I got you. I love you" by that time I was calm. There was something about him. His voice, or his sent. Maybe his touch, that would always make me feel way better than.. everything I feel...
"Hey" he said in a giggly, smily but soft voice, and lifted my head up by his fingers on my jaw, and made me look at him. "You know you're really adorable and it does something to my heart, right?" He said brushing his nose to mine. I just rolled my eyes and slapped his chest. "Goofy" I said giggling at him.
"Yeah but your goofy" he said brushing his nose at the crock of my neck / close to the back of my ear, still holding me close to him.
"I love you, my goofy"
"I love you too princess"
Then he picked me up and threw me to my bed, and the rest of the day we just cuddled. Both of us ignoring the fact that he was there because I didn't answer none of his calls or texts
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