"She would be here right now" JeffxHannah x reader

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Y\L\N: Your last name

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"Have you heard about what happpened?" I randomly overheard the 2 girls behind me in class. "Omg yeah, who would have ever thought she woukd do this. I mean i thought she had everything in life a girl want to have"


"What the hell happened?" I randomly asked. "Hannah Baker" said one of them.


"What about her?"


"She killed herself 2 days ago. Everyone around the neighborhood saw the ambulance carrying her body out" One of them said. That's when i felt my heart drop. It dropped nd broke into million pieces. I didn't know how to react, i just stood there, just got to know someone that was so important in my life just ended her life, and even if i wanted to know, i didn't know the reason why she would do something like this. I just froze. Even if i wanted to ask, say something, make a noise, nothing came out.


"What's even weird is that they found some tapes that was made from herself, before she killed herself. People say the tapes are explaining the reasons"


"Reasons of why she did it?"


"Yeah i think so"


I wanted to say something, but for some reason i couldn't. It was burning inside my throat, and screaming to be let out. But it was stuck there, and beside it didn't know what to say. It felt like something inside we was about to explode. Like it started to get difficult to breath.





"y

are you okay?" I couldn't answer, though i wanted to, i didn't know what to say so i just made a sound that came out of my throat. (Inspired by just some minutes ago. I'm writing this in school and i was and STILL is hungry, and then the teacher said no when i wanted to go to the cafeteria to buy a drink but i did anyways cause im unstoppable bebeh. And my stomach is legit screaming "FEED ME" in class)


It felt like the room was getting closer, and i somehow felt so desperate. It wasn't because of phobia or anything. I wasn't scared. I didn't know what was happening. All i knew was that i needed to get out of here, at least to breath.


Without even caring about disturbing the class and the teacher, i ran to the bathroom, and locked the door immediatly. I tried to breath, but i couldn't. I failed every time i tried to breath. Almost like my body refused to be okay. I just fell down to the ground and bursted out crying. I lost her. I lost my best friend and it was because of me. Even if i wanted to apologize.. she was gone


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Some time pass until everyone heared about the news. The time doesn't matter. She won't be returning. Every single day after the news, nothing felt the same. Literally nothing. All those faces i used to see everyday seemed to strange everytime they looked at me. The days by second felt more darker. Like no light, from a horror story. The guilt and regret inside me was growing more and more, and it didn't seem like it was gonna leave anytime soon. That's how my everyday went like. A secret. Silent. Walking around like everything is still the same. Maybe it seems like it, but it doesn't feel like it.


I walked up to my locker with the damn feeling growing inside me. Everyone seemed to be so.. normal. Like nothing happened. Not after a long time later, i see Clay Jensen walk in with a group of people i didn't recognize. I


"Look at these lockers. They all look alike, right?" He said walking towards Hannah's locker. That's when my attention was fully on him now.


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