I honestly have no ideas about this. Literally. My brain is in every freaking where. Like it's really wack. Please don't come @ me, everything i do is messed up XDD
Warning: mention of rape. Gun. Knife using
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This is where the real problem started. Running away from my problems until now. Like a fucking coward. All i ever did was to run away. This time just because one messed up shit, i'm not gonna run away from what's good in my life. I kept telling myself 'fight you loser. Don't run away from this too' so that's what i decided to do. To fight. Even if it meant bringing someone down. Even if it costs me later on. After all. Once in a game, you don't have choice but to just play.
Later that day, i didn't do anything. I had my leather jacket off. I didn't have so much in my room. It only had one bed, and a white desk with a cabinet. The room was small, and seemed grey. Small room with a small window, and a small closet. I didn't have much clothes either. just 2 jeans, 3 tshirts and a long sleeved black sweather. Then my big hand bag that was just laying there on a single chair. I was laying on my back, with my arm behind my head. I thought about the revolver that is hidden in a worn, old fabric, somewhere in the cabinent.
I was just 6. I didn't know what was happening. I was scared. It was almost like it was so lonely. So helpless. I hid behind the small, old room, waiting for it all to happen. Today was one of those days. My sister went to his office, and half an hour later came out. Every single time, looking at her face would almost be like feeling what she felt then. Like an other piece of her was stolen. Taken away. Like someone threw dirt at her soul. Like someone took her childhood. Someone we were forced to call our father. Stepfather. We had no idea about our biological parents, if they even are alive or not. It was one of those nights. I had the revolver on my right hand, tight. So tight it started hurting. I had it close to my body, and i couldn't move my body nor my arm. It almost was like i was paralyzed. I heard stuff falling to the ground. Like a bookshelf. Stuff from the office desk. I heard something break. My adrenaline had taken over my body and it was killing me not doing anything. It became silent for a while. Dangerously silent. Then the office door barge open. Almost if it was gonna break apart, and there was my sister. Running, as fast as she could, and behind her, it was him who was following her. He seemed injured but still kept on following her. She ran outside, followed by him, and he followed by me. His back was facing me. And when he got her, he yelled "I got you you little shit! I fucking got you, and you have nowhere else to run now!"
"Now! Y/N, now!"
and there went the bullet.
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I looked at the same gun i kept hidden every since that night. That night i tried to save the only good thing in my life. But now... she was gone. Now! Y/N, now! Was screaming inside my head. Wherever i went, it was there, scarring my ears. I looked outside. It started to get darker. I packet the revolver in the fabric, and took my jacket, put the gun in my pocket, and left.
I went to the nearest leake, and looked down at the leak. It sounded so peaceful. It had gotten dark. There was no one there this late at night, let along a teenager. I'm sorry, i'm so sorry Katie. I didn't mean it, i'm sorry.
I took the revolver and threw it across the leake. I took the cigarette box that was in my pocket, and took a cigarette, placed it between my lips and lit the tip of it. I let the smoke get out of my nose. I suddenly feel footsteps behind my back. Not like i was really scared. Maybe a little, bit it wouldn't be the first or second time. I get a grip of my knife that was also in my pocket, most likely knowing who it is, but knowing i need to calm down to not fuck shit up again, i just give it a squeeze, and let it go. My hands still on each side of my pocket, letting the person reach up to me.
3rd person POV
"Car stealing, multiple police cases, theif.. criminal.. here you are, once again, mentally.. slowly.. killing yourself. It happened years ago, and you're here feeling sorry over yourself. Here, right in front of my face. Also, don't think i haven't noticed your new boyfriend" he laughed with his, as always, asshole laugh.
"Oh you mean Jeff?..." she said, looking down at her shoes. "Yeah.. he's pretty cute"
He smirked his 'oh don't play with me' smirk
"When will you learn?"
"When will you learn how to keep your nose out of others buisness. Outta other's lives?"
"Till you stop getting closer to the line"
Her look that was glued to the leake slowly, as the same she moved her body to face him. Her eyes were red. She felt cold inside. She had it under control, but the feeling she felt at that exact moment, it was dangerous. "You don't get to tell me what to do"
"Jokes on you Y/N. Cause i'm not planning to stop-"
I took his shirt by his collar with both of my hands and looked him straight to the eyes. "I killed someone before, Thomas" i took my knife that was in my pocket and held it close to his neck. I made the blade pop up, sharp and fast.
"I'm not afraid to kill an other one. None of this, are fair. You don't get to threaten me with something your ass wouldn't understand to get to know. You are the one who wanted to play this game, and put me here to your shitty work. I was six I was fucking six!"
He kept silent. But then started to move backwards. "But you're the one who's continuing." he said, and disappeared. I took a sharp breath in, and let it out, then spit the cigarette down and then crushed it. I thought about him. About Jeff. About after all, it could feel good again. I thought about how i wouldn't let anything ruin this anymore. I wouldn't let him fuck things up. I knew i wouldn't.
I took the small note he gave me earlier and looked down at it for a while. I put it back in my pocket and started walking back towards my house. Well. my new foster care's family's house, that was somewhere old, like the house itself.
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