I literally forgot the ending of this chapter and i don't remember shit. Help. I don't know where to start with nor do i know where to end it, iufjiuhighuigh.
Also i miss my fucking friends ksfjwg, the vacation is boring kjfgkjg, not that seeing my grandparents and family after a whole year (I'm turkish but i live in norway) is great, but the hype goes away.
Also school starts in like 2 weeks. Legit, it's only 10 days left
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A month had passed. With time people seemed to turn into huger dickheads, but that never bothered me. Hannah Baker and i got along pretty easily. That somehow didn't please people, and people seemed to be really fucking rude to both of us, but our friendship wasn't really anyone's business. What really bothered me was Jeff Atkins. And no, he didn't do anything wrong, in fact, he wsa really sweet towards me, unlike everyone else... Somethinng was off when it came to him. I can't stop thinking about him... We've been hanging out lately, and it was pretty damn easy to get along with him. I learned a lot about him, about how he was one of school's baseball player. And probably why girls are so god damn jealous.
And i usually find spending time with him like i don't ever want it do end. Now i know people might think it's cause i never really had real friends or felt open enough before, but i don't think you're supposed to feel this way towards a friend. No matter how close. That, and something else wsa bothering me. Myself. My own thought. Every time i find myself around him, iy's like my thoughts all come alive and have their own control. Every time i feel okay by opening up to him, my brain just finds an other way to stop me. I don't know if listening to my brain is scarier or trusting him.
We started going other places outside school and a lot of rumours started going around the school. What seemed cool about it was that he made it into a inside joke only we could understand, and no matter how many times i forced myself the thoughts you don't have feelings towards him, it won't ever be like that, i always had this one freaking feeling stuck in me. Hannah and i, obviously got along well. I got to meet Jessica and Alex Standall, and we became a due. People seemed to start making more and more problem. As i walked towards Jessica, Hannah and Alex and as when i walked in front of Jeff and his friends he called after me.
"Y/N, hey" he said smiling like it was the best day or a special day. "Are you free this weekend?"
He seemed nervous, and the sounds his friends made didn't seem like it made it easier for him. It was kind of cute. I have no reason to lie either, he made me hella nervous too
"Yeah.. i mean, why though? Not that i'm complaining or anything". If you don't shut up he'll regret everything.
"I just wanted to ask if you maybe wanted come with me to this one party, you know, just to hang out. It doesn't have to be a lot, you know it can be just the two of us. No pressure" his ears started turning red.
"I'd like it" as cliche it sounds, out of nowhere i giggled like a 12 year old girl claiming to be 'in love' "Who exactly is this person though. Does he go here?" you sound like a cop question the most unnecessary things ever. Stop it, you're gonna scare him away with the way you're too obvious
"Well, it's just some guy the baseball team knows well. I'll.. see you there?" Right i was about to answer, my eyes fell over his shoulder to my friend staring and whispering to themselves.
"I'll definitely be there" i gave him a smile, then walked past him towards my friends, who now all of them was grinning at me. It would be a big lie if i said even though i gave them a 'why-you-laughing-it-wasn't-something-serious-come-off-of-it' look, the pink across both my cheeks said it all. Fuck. I should have asked if it was a date or not. Or no, that'd be desperate. Who'd ask that? Fuck. I'm gonna hang out with Jeff Atkins. Not only was he one of every girl's biggest crush and one of the best players in our baseball team, it's because he's Jeff Atkins. It felt wonderful, but it also felt completely strange cause among so many others, he asked me. Even Hannah and Jessica was more beautiful than me. Stop complaining like a damn child.
