Let it be

Alice/problem child

Dear Lennon, (lol its in bold pen),

I always knew since my twelfth birthday that I was a problem child. You know the one that always gets into trouble. Even though I had no siblings during my twelfth up until my eighteenth birthday and the arrival of my baby sister I had always managed to argue with someone. My grandmother from my Mother's side of the family has always told me that I got my ways from my Mom who too was loud and rude sometimes. Sadly since I had no one to argue with I guess I argued with my parents who always tried to change me.

I started experimenting with rock music and heavy metal when I was thirteen. I remembered listening to it coming outside of a record store. I remembered it like it was yesterday. My parents were yelling at me to come back not even bothering to follow me inside the store when I had asked the guy who owned the stored what band was playing that song. It was Green Day. Then my moment was ruined by my Mom who dragged me out of the store. I screamed and kicked and caused a very entertaining scene to be honest.

I always remembered it being me who always started a fight during recess. They all called me the 'bully ninja' because I bullied people in such a silent yet deadly way. Not like I didn't bully those kids too I'd physically bully those poor little kids now that I'm looking back at this.

The first time I drank a full bottle of alcohol was when I was out with some people who were never really my friends, they were just some seniors I knew who how to party. I had just left the house after I had a pretty heated fight with both my parents about my grades. The seniors said they knew where alcohol is and at that point I was willing to do anything to get the fight off my mind.

They made me chug it all down so I can prove to them that I was not some stupid bratty freshman. At first I was hesitant but then I reminded myself of the fight and I chugged it all down. This was also the first time I got drunk. I drank at least four bottles of beer that day that I came home stumbling drunk.

This is why I regret all the mistakes I've made in life because if I didn't go to that party and drink I wouldn't have to face my parents now. I also wouldn't have been speaking my sober thoughts to my very upset boyfriend.

"I feel like a failure to you, to my family, to everyone,"I complain sobbing. Seth looks at me and frowns before getting me to rest my head on his shoulder getting ready to be my therapist to talk to me.

"I know I've fucked up big time most of the time but I can't help but feel how helpless I am and look at me I have a beer belly at the age of eighteen!, I love you do you know that I fucking love you man. I need to stop. Do you wanna know something?,'

"Yeah'

"Sometimes when I'm alone I'll look up at the sky or ceiling and wonder how my grandma is disapointed in me. I've also had and believe it or not I've had at least one suicidal thought Seth. I am so depressed at this point that I don't even know what to do. I can't face my parents at this point.'

After that entire rant Seth takes one good look at me. The look on his face is a mixture of sadness and worriedness. I've seen this look from him always when I'm in my darkest hour. I was grateful though that he doesn't judge or say what people usually say but he just listens.

"Annabelle, God forbid anything happens to you I will not know how to live anymore you got that. Anytime you feel that way please come talk to me or your Mom first because Annabelle I love you too much to ever see you gone. Also don't worry about your parents I'll talk to them," he says kissing me and I feel tears on my forehead.

'"I think I'm sober now,' I say jokingly as we pull away from the kiss. I look at my parents who are still in the same position that we saw them in when we pulled into the driveway. Both of them gave each other a look and then they both looked at Seth and I and beckoned us to come out of the car. So we did, Seth first and then me.