Collateral Love

Chapter 5

I woke up almost forgetting the events of last night. Of course I remembered it all seemed like a dream. I wish it was a dream. I can't believe that the one time I leave my house I get myself caught up in this gang world. 

I won't lie Kadin is hot. Very hot. But I will not let myself fall for that bullshit. That is not the life I want for myself. I like things quiet and laid back. It's hard to accomplish that if someone is going to whip out a gun anytime things don't go their way. 

Dating was never my thing anyways. I've never even had a boyfriend or girlfriend. Hell I haven't even really explored my sexuality much.  I've never touched a boy before, well one that isn't my cousin or relative. Obviously I've hugged Sonny so I have that for girls. I wouldn't know the first thing when it comes to a boy. Girls are so much easier to talk to which is why I question my sexuality. I mean I find girls attractive, but could I see myself in a relationship with one? I don't even know if I could see myself in a relationship in general. 

It sucks being alone all the time but you get used to it. I've kinda gotten used to being a loner. I've come to appreciate the time I get alone. I feel like if didn't have it I would go crazy. 

Not to mention it would just be crazy for me to date a gang leader. I really wonder how Kadin got his position at such a young age, I thought they were supposed to be like 50 or something. 

Why am I even thinking about him right now. I just met him last night, and from what I saw he was rude and dangerous. He could have shot us. He said he wouldn't have shot me, I don't know if that meant Sonny as well or just me. Am I special? He probably see's me as some high school kid he had to take home after holding them at gunpoint and then had to tell them to keep their mouth shut. I was nothing special he was just looking out for himself and his gang. In the movies they are like this big family who always have each others backs. I'm not going to lie it would be nice to have the type of support system but I am not so sure that the stuff that comes along with it would be worth it. I mean usually girls in gangs are just passed around like whores. 

As my thoughts go on I realized I will never be able to get Kadin Sparks, the infamous gang leader out of my mind. 

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I felt the buzz of my phone which confused me. Who would be texting me at 12:39 P.M. Its the afternoon and is a Saturday so I guess it not that odd I just don't have friends. A small burn of hope rips through my chest hoping it was Kadin, but I pushed that away real quick. How would he even get my number? Why would I even want him to text me. He's dangerous. 

I stop the anticipation and just check my phone. To my unwanted disappoint me its just Sonny. I'm sure she has tons of questions on what happened last night. Heck she might not even remember a single thing there was so much alcohol in her system. 

Sonny: Hey we need to meet up and talk.... I can't remember a single thing from last night.  12:39 P.M

Me:  Yeah sure when and where? 12:41 P.M

Sonny: Uh.. How about Anything But Basic, that one diner meet me there around 1:30 P.M? 12:43 P.M

Me: Yeah sure that sounds fine I'll see you then. 12:44 P.M

Now usually I would have either ignored the message or just said no. Like I said, I've tried being friends with Sonny and that just didn't work out. This is different though. I would be scared as hell if I couldn't remember anything from the night before. I would want answers too. Hell who knows maybe we can actually develop real friendship from this. I hear trauma brings people closer together.