Collateral Love

Chapter 18

It's been a week since I've gotten the new's that my parents have passed away. Thoughts of my childhood have swarmed my brain, sending me into overload. I haven't spoken to Kadin since the night I was informed. Actually I haven't spoken to anybody. A maid has came up and has given me 3 meals a day. Upon Kadin's request, or so Beckett says.

Beckett has came and spoken to me everyday, even though I haven't responded once. I feel bad but what do I even say. I have no idea what Kadin plans on doing with me now that my parents are dead. I mean without them is there really a debt to be paid. The whole point was for Kadin to take somebody they loved. Now that he has they died. I just don't know if this changes things for me.

A knock on my door snapped me out of my daze. It has to be Beckett, he's the only one that would be visiting me this time of day.

The door opened only to reveal Kadin, not Beckett. 

"Chloe me and Beckett both have decided that you can't stay locked up in your room anymore. He's gonna take you to the mall, you know get you out of the house up on your feet." He said, in what sounded like concern.. Why would Kadin be concerned by me?

"Kadin I don't really feel like going out right now." I said my voice cracking.

Kadin sighed and sat down right next to me. My body tensed immediately and I blushed at him being so close. He put my hand in his. "Chloe can I tell you something?" Kadin asked.

"Yes." My voices softly whispered. My eyes were captivated by his.

"Growing up all my dad cared about was about my training to become a leader when needed. He pushed me, hard. It was sometimes really brutal, but I loved him. My mother knew all about his brutal 'training', she didn't care she was so supportive of him. When I was eight before I was trained to fight well, my dad beat me senseless. Told me I need to learn how to endure pain if I wanted to be a gang leader. Let's just say that wasn't the last time." He paused.

There was several seconds of silence, like he was remembering something. Re-living more like it.

"When I was 11, a rival gang raided our home. Tied me up in the living room, tied my dad up, and raped my mother right in front of me. I have never felt so helpless. Once they were all done with my mother, her sobbing was all I could hear for a second. Then all the sudden, her a gun shot and her screams. They killed my dad. Then shot my mother. Left me there to stare at them until I got rescued." He continued.

I felt salty hot tears run down my face by the time he was finished. "Chloe I know the pain and confusion you're feeling. After every single shitty thing they did to you, they die and you don't know how to feel. Like you still love them." He said.

"Kadin I'm so sorry." I said, that was the only thing I could process saying.

"Chloe I don't want pity. I hate the fact that you're just sitting in here not talking. Please just go to the mall with Beckett. I will even go, I just didn't no if you'd want me too." He said and sheepishly rubbed his neck. It's weird to see Kadin like this. 

I guess the thought of my parents dying really settled in because I just started crying. Kadin noticed and immediately hugged me. "Chloe it's gonna be okay I'm right here ." He whispered rocking me back and forth as I cried.

Kadin had left my room and I started to get ready. I decided a pair of sweat pants would be fine. What I need to dress up for anyways. I changed into a black shirt, and threw my hair up into a messy bun. Maybe a little to messy, but oh well whatever. Fuck it.

I threw on my shoes, and went downstairs to meet Kadin in the living room. He was sitting on the couch staring off into space.

"Kadin." My small voiced called out to get his attention. His head snapped towards me and he analyzed me. "I'm ready to go" I said. Keeping my eyes from anywhere but him. I don't know why I feel so intimidated around him still.