Collateral Love

Chapter 17

I brushed my hair. Like one hundred times. I don't know why I'm so fixated on it. Or why I must have it perfect. Maybe it's because it's the only thing I have control over right now. Maybe it's just me coping trying to make time fly by.

 Living here sucks. It's like every day I lose a piece of myself. I am constantly wondering how I am going to be free again. I feel like I'm losing myself, who I am. I'm hoping today Jesse gives me some new information, something that helps me get the hell out of here. I just need to be strong enough to make it through so I can leave here. I can't let them win or think they did. 

I sigh, feels like that's all I ever do here lately. I finish putting on the last coats of my mascara. Added a little bit of a natural looking blush to make my eyes pop. I just want a simple look for the mall, so I just finish off with some lip gloss. The simpler the better. 

Next, I walked to the closet to do the hard part. (Well besides being trapped here.) I must pick out a decent outfit. One that I can wear in public. Not the sweatpants I haven't been pulling off. I sweep through my closet and find some tight black pants and a silky skintight yellow shirt. I picked out a pair of yellow vans. One perc of living here, limitless clothing options. I hope this outfit is enough for Jesse to spill his guts. At this point it's him or me. It's time for me to be selfish and worry about myself.

Now the even worst part, my mess of a hair. I swear no matter how much I brush it or style it, it still looks like crap. I'm thinking a double French braid. Braids give you the allure of innocence, so maybe he will feel the need to tell me more. I like my hair braided, it's long and difficult to braid though. Might take a while. I look at the time and saw that it was only 11:00 A.M. I have plenty of time to French braid my hair. So that's what I do. Not like I have anything better to do, no thanks to Kadin. 

It made me happy. Reminded me back to when my mom was nice and caring. She would braid my hair every day before school during my elementary years. It's like I grew up and suddenly I didn't matter anymore. But that doesn't matter anymore. Look where I am right now. My freedom has been taken. So has my happiness, but maybe that was gone a long time ago. Maybe I was meant to be here. Or maybe I am just telling myself that to feel better.  

I felt tears pricked my eyes. The chances of me leaving here alive are not very good. 

"You know pretty girls aren't supposed to cry. No really it's a thing."  I was ripped out of my thoughts by Jesse. Leaning against my bedroom door. "Sorry love I seem to be a tad bit early, but I was anxious." He quickly changed the subjecting.

Showtime.

I looked at the time then quickly put on a half fake half genuine smile. It was 11:27 A.M. He was a tad bit early. I don't know how to feel about Jesse. He seems dangerous. Not like a deadly dangerous, well maybe. The emotional trauma type of drama. Which can almost be worse if you think about it. Let's just say I feel he's hurt his fair share of girls, and I am not just talking about their feelings. Thank God it's just shopping and lunch, as just friends.

"Oh no that's fine don't worry about it, I had just finished getting ready. I'm just glad you are taking me in general." I said, trying to come off has thankful as possible.

"Of course, I don't think it's right keeping you all cooped up in here." He responded with a pleased smile. That obviously made him feel good about himself. "I was thinking some Chinese for lunch." 

He was correct. It isn't right at all. 

"Sure, that's sounds great." I decided to say. Instead of digging into things I might not want to.

"So, Chloe I'm curious. Who are you. What were you like before Kadin kidnapped you." Jesse asked out of the blue. How random, shouldn't he know this. 

It took me by surprise, he asked such a weighted question so fast. Why would he care anyways? Not like I'll ever get to be that version of myself anymore.