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It's known fact that every second two people are taken out of the world and four new lives are brought in. There are more people who have died in the world than there are more people alive. If Josephine really searched, she would be able to feel someone dying every thirty seconds. If she did though, it would surely kill her. Her mind wouldn't be able to handle it, her body wouldn't be able to handle the pain. There were always going to be more dead people than there were alive people, and she knew that. If she focused to hard on nothing, she could feel it. She could feel the pain of people dying rising up in her.
Death had always followed the girl around. Her father had died in a car crash while he was on the way to the hospital to see his baby girl be born. The tragic thing about what was the doctors declared him dead at the same time Eva Sutter was delivered into the world. Her best childhood friend died while playing on the gymnasium equipment with her. She fell and cracked her head open and Josephine was left sitting there thinking that her dead friend was just playing around. Her aunt and uncle crashed their car into a moving train while they were on their way to visit their niece. Josephine understood death at a young age. When her first fish died when she was six, she flushed it down the toilet and didn't think about it again. She knew that it was gone for good and there was no need to fuss about it. Just like how her father and best friend were gone for good. Her mom did try to sugar coat it, and Josephine let her. Josephine was a smart girl. She had to be smart with a drunken mother and the abusive boyfriends she would bring to their house.
Death was different now. Death was literally a part of her. As much as she tried not to fuss over someone dying like she did when she was little, the pain was consuming her. The visions she had became embedded into her brain.
If anybody could see what she has seen, any person would want to rip their eyeballs right out of their skull. If eyes could see what she had seen, they wouldn't be able to handle it. If any person could feel what Josephine felt when someone close to her was dying, they'd want to shoot themselves up with all the drugs in the world to stop the feeling. Josephine dealt with it. She dealt with it all and rarely complained to anyone about it. She didn't go around telling people that the low hum in her ears was driving her nuts. She didn't tell anyone that it felt like she was constantly having a massive migraine and it wouldn't go away. She managed it. She didn't know how she was doing it, but she was. She found a way to block it all out.
When things were bad, she would look at the one person that meant everything to her. In the short time she has been with him, it had felt like forever. Just one look at him and all the pain that was swarming her whole body would disappear. One look was all it took for it to all go away. Seth, however, didn't know what she was trying to deal with. It wasn't like Josephine could actually form her pain into words and describe it all, she even had a hard time believing what she was and what she was capable of doing. Seth knows she's been hurting, he just doesn't know how much the thing she is has been killing her inside. So, every time she had a nightmare that would stir him awake beside her, he would hold her. He would hold her tight as if his grip would wash away all her worries and pain.
