[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterSix]

Author's Note:
I didn't want the day to draaaag on, so I had to end it somehow. This is how I'm ending the day. I couldn't do it anymore. Anyway, Hayley is now on tour. She'll end up with someone. Oh yeah. Um, I really just want to make the two of them get together. Comment on if you think I should have Austin be all "we don't really know each other but I feel this connection with you and I don't want to know that you can be anyone else's" blah ask her to be his girlfriend, OR if I should have them be the traditional friends first then relationship. And, don't worry. There's a reason Adam is in this story. It's really cute.

@KelliInWhite: I met @austincarlile and @devanchor today and when I did they were holding hands, cutest couple everrrr. You two are my idols.

Bowing my head, I run a hand through my hair, trying to enjoy this, wanting to go back to how things were before she saw us, before we were spotted, when things were good, there was nothing to worry about, nothing to ponder. The question stays locked in my mind, not wanting to ask, not wanting to know, while at the same time, I want to know why he wanted to go along with her idea that the two of us are together, what caused him to hold onto my hand, bringing it further by intertwining our fingers.

Chewing down on my lower lip, I stretch my legs out in front of me, contemplating what to write, wanting to reply to her, wanting to reply to everyone really, but not knowing what to say to her, not really wanting to correct her. Austin doesn’t notice, or he does notice and chooses not to say anything, the look on his face holds so many emotions, as if he was contemplating what had happened before, grabbing my hand, tugging me close.

Wanting to say something, anything, feeling the need to reply to her, for an unknown reason, because normally when I see a tweet that makes me uncomfortable I simply ignore it, I let out a soft sigh, typing, “@KelliInWhite you are so sweet! I loved meeting you.” Closing out of Twitter, I slide my phone back in the front packet of my jeans, letting myself fall back onto the grass, groaning as my back hits the hard ground. “Ouch,” I whimper, not bothering to move, and I hear him laugh softly, trying to stop himself, but he can’t, and that only causes my cheeks to burn with a blush.

“You saw the tweet?” He doesn’t turn his head to look at me, keeps his head straight, looking up at the sky, the still cloudless sky, his voice holding no emotion. I don’t know what he expects from me, what he wants me to say, if he wants me to tell him that I'm okay with her words, most of them I'm pleased with, but the couple comment left me speechless. Things are awkward, I didn’t want them to be awkward, things were going so well before all of this; this always happens, always, with every guy, something happens and I can’t make the situation less awkward for myself, I ruminate on the things that are uncomfortable and I can’t stop, so the guy takes it the wrong way, doesn’t try to help the situation, and it all crumbles to the ground.

Placing my hands on my stomach, I swallow the lump in my throat, wanting to nod my head and leave it at that, but not being able to, lying down on the grass, out in the field, where I thought no one was going to be. “I did. I answered her. Well, sort of. I didn’t say anything about the couple part. There’s no point in saying anything. If we do, then more of it starts.” It's always been like that, that's been my strategy for years, since I was little, though it was used when I was faced with bullies, not comments that cause my cheeks to burn and my head to ache, I ignore it, focus the attention on something else.

Placing his hands on either side of him, he pushes himself up, sitting, looking down at me with a soft gaze, his eyes holding guilt, not regret, and for some reason I feel a little better, that he doesn't regret lacing his fingers with mine, just guilty, which he shouldn't, considering I allowed it to happen. "I don't know what I was thinking. Clearly I wasn't thinking. Not that you're not beautiful, because you are, you're gorgeous. I, just, now people will assume we're together and I'm sure that's not what you were planning on dealing with right now." He's rambling, it's cute, I don't expect it from him, he seems too accepting of himself to be tripping over his words, but he is, it makes him so much more real, like all of us, not just the guy who almost everyone attending Warped looks up to.