[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterThirtyEight]

Author's Note:

So, there are only two more chapters left of this, and then the epilogue. I don't know if I'll be writing a sequel. I'm still debating. But, there are two chapters left, like I said, so it's not over yet.

Austin Carlile’s Point of View

 

@austincarlile: The genuine quality of my morning is unexplainable :)

She’s probably going to kill me for doing that, for tweeting that, she’s going to flip out, try to steal my phone to delete it, because everyone knows that the quality of my morning isn't unexplainable with a smile because we’re in Washington with a day off before the last two dates of Warped. They all know why I'm happy, they all know why my morning is unexplainable with a smile, or at least they think that they know, because all we did was cuddle last night, and it was perfect, we finally had one night in the bus to ourselves, since the guys stayed in the Every Anchor bus for the traveling.

It was just Devin and I, really, besides the few people that stay on our bus regardless, like the best bus driver and tour manager in the world, they stayed last night, partly because one of them had to drive in order to get us to Washington and the other because one of them didn’t want to spend the night with the guys. It was his night off, and it was my night with my girlfriend and no one else.

I want to tell her what I’ve been doing, collecting money, but I don’t know how she’ll react; Blaze said something about keeping it a secret may not have been the best thing to do, because she hates when a bunch of people know something important and she’s left out. She’ll just have to get over it because it can’t be a surprise if she knows and if she knew what was going on she wouldn’t let it happen, because God forbid someone tried to help her. Pressing my lips against her forehead, I sigh as I watch her stir underneath me, her hand that’s resting on my chest curls into a fist, his fingers gripping onto my shirt.

“Morning, baby,” I whisper, watching as her eyes open and close quickly, the sunlight from the front of the bus making its way back and stinging her eyes, but she opens them slowly as a groan escapes her lips. Laughing, I place my hand on hers, prying her off of my shirt, and she removes her head from my chest, raising an eyebrow. “What?” Frowning, she rolls her eyes, holding onto my shirt again as she rests her head down on my chest, her little act of defiance for the day.

She’s happy now, content, but not when she finds out about the tweet. I don’t get it, why people seem to think that it’s okay to dislike her simply because she’s my girlfriend. In all honesty, she’s so much more than my girlfriend, to me and to so many other people in the world, and the fans that I'm embarrassed to call mine seem to forget that. Part of the problem with talking about our relationship on these sites is that she likes her privacy, she doesn’t think it should matter to people whether she has a boyfriend or not and who he is or what happened to her brother.

“I'm so comfortable.” Smiling, she tilts her head up to look at me, biting down on her lower lip, her eyes give her away, every time, she’s thinking, and I don’t know what she’s thinking about, but whatever it is, it’s bothering her. “Do you really think that I'm good enough for you?” I don’t know where this is coming from, I really don’t, she didn’t even look at her phone once last night, so it couldn’t have been something recent, and I nod my head. “Are you lying?”

Combing my fingers through her hair, I kiss her forehead again, chewing on my lower lip, not realizing that everyone is messing with her mind as much as they really are, I didn’t realize that it was this bad. “Devon, I love you. If I didn’t love you, I wouldn’t have told you that I do. And, if I didn’t like you or think you were good enough, then I wouldn’t be with you. But, Dev, you’re too good for me, and I'm just praying that you don’t ever realize that you can do better.” One day, she’s going to realize that all the things that come along with dating me aren’t worth it, and I’ll be here, fucked over and waiting for the girl my mother told me about to come back.

Wrinkling her nose, she tilts her head to the side, sitting up slowly, lifting her chin as her gaze falls down onto the bed. “Your phone, it’s on Twitter. I swear, Austin, come on, I want one day without people messaging me about how you’re too good for me. I'm a singer, too! I'm not dating you to get famous! I'm already fucking famous!” Running her hands through her hair, she sighs softly, closing her eyes, almost like she’s ashamed of her outburst, but I'm not, I didn’t know any of this.

“Hey, Devon, relax. Since when do you care what other people think about you?” Cocking my head to the side, I lean back when she looks up at me from behind her fingers that she simply moves out of her eyesight, and she raises an eyebrow, as if asking if I really just asked that, but I did, I don’t understand, she used to not care what anyone said about her. “Can you look at me, without your hands in the way? You're not three years old.

“Those people mean nothing to you, or to me, or to anyone really. That’s why they do it, Devon. They want to get a rise out of you because they think that a twenty four year old is going to date a sixteen year old. They’re stupid and they think that I would want to be with anyone other than you. You know who you are. Your fans know who you are. Your family knows who you are. Your friends know who you are. That’s all that matters, Dev. The people who matter in your life know that you’re amazing and that you’re strong and beautiful and talented and the greatest person in the entire world. Don’t tell me that you aren’t a great person. You became the older sister, didn’t you? That’s pretty great, if you ask me.”

By now the tears are streaming down her face, and she lets out a soft laugh, shrugging her shoulders. “What did I do to deserve someone like you?”

“You were you.”