[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterFourteen]

Author's Note:
La la la la. Um, this is late. SORRY. School starts in like eleven days and I was supposed to get my schedule today (well, more like two weeks ago, but today was supposed to be the day, too) and it didn't come so I was all anxious all week. This is moving so slow. It's still like the second day of Warped. SO, the next chapter is going to be the third stop of Warped, which was like the 20th, so that's like three days later. And her brother is going to be in the story, he's important, remember him, don't forget about him. OH, and one shots are open, for a while, until I get so overwhelmed with them that I close them, but I'll post the form and stuff after I post this. Enjoy (:

His lips land on mine, gently, like he doesn’t want to hurt me, but he already is. I want to keep my eyes open, to make this less real, less romantic, anything that would tell myself that this isn’t what I think it is, that it’s just a simple, casual kiss that two friends share when there’s no one else around, almost like a last resort, but I can’t keep them open, they flutter closed almost instantly. My hands rest on his chest, ready to push him away, but I can’t, it feels so right, the way his lips are moving with mine, I want to push away, but I don’t, I don’t want to stop this feeling.

He allows his hand to travel from my side to my lower back, pushing me closer to him, our chests pressed together, my back slightly arched forward, it’s a sweet, simple kiss, not aggressive, not overwhelming. Resting his forehead against mine, he pulls away, leaving me confused, uncertain, and wanting to rack his brain for answers, it doesn’t make sense, I'm not that type of girl, I'm not the one you just hook up with when you need someone and then toss her to the side, I don’t do that, I can’t do that.

Dropping my hands to my sides, I look up at him, my eyes opening quickly, growing wide, as I bite down on my lower lip, so many thoughts racing to my head, causing it to pound, I can’t hear anything but my heartbeat that seems to be beating in my throat. Running a shaky hand through my hair, I open my mouth to say something, knowing that he’s waiting for me to, he stopped himself for speaking once he saw that I wanted to speak, but I can’t find the right words, I don’t know what I want to say to him.

The kiss, it was amazing, it sent shivers down my spine, my body molded against his so perfectly, but that’s not supposed to happen, not with someone you barely know, that’s not how you start a relationship, or a friendship nonetheless. This proves all the thoughts I didn’t want to believe right, everything I was afraid of, the thing that I didn’t really understand. I'm not pretty, especially when placed next to the girls he has been with or fawned after in the past, I'm nothing compared to them, I know that, and he should know that. So I don’t understand why he’s lusting after me.

“Devon, I,” running a hand through his hair, he lets out a soft sigh, his eyes trying to meet mine, though I can’t look at him, not when he tells me that the kiss was a mistake, not when he tells me that he doesn’t like me like that. “I didn’t mean to.” Looking up at him, I shove my hands into the back pockets of my jeans, feeling my eyes brim with water, something that I so desperately hoped wouldn’t happen, this shouldn’t be happening, I shouldn’t be this upset, I knew this was coming. “No, I mean, I did, I meant it, but I didn’t mean it now.”

Raising an eyebrow, I inhale slowly through my nose, nodding my head once, dismissing his comment, dismissing all of this. I don’t want to hear it, not from him, because it would hurt more hearing it from him than anyone else, I’ve been a fan of his for too long to let it all come crashing down because I couldn’t push him away.