[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterNineteen]

Author's Note:

Not exactly the way that I planned this going, but it happened and that's all I wanted out of this. So, yeah. Oh, and Asia, I want to dedicate a chapter to you, but this one doesn't have you in it really and it's depressing. So, I will dedicate a chapter to you, because you're the newest character, I promise.

“He’s, they, they said that he isn’t going to be able to walk.” Her voice cracks, I can hear the struggle to speak through the lump in her throat, the tears are probably streaming down her cheeks, she doesn’t deserve any of this. All my life, she’s been the mother of the year, the mother that all my friends wanted to have, the mother that all other mothers were told was better than them. Without a college degree, my mother did everything for Adam and I, she worked crazy hours and numerous jobs, all for the two of us, and we promised her that one day we would give her everything in return.

That woman, that stupid woman, she ruined everything, didn’t realize that people can’t multitask, she ruined everything. I don’t think that my mother has smiled since my brother woke up from the coma, when they told her that he would live, I think that’s the only time she’s smiled in years. All he wanted was to be able to walk one day, to work so hard to get to that point, where he was walking while clinging onto the handles of his wheelchair, pushing someone around, somewhat like a walker, that’s what he wanted, that’s what he’s been working for, and now he doesn’t get it.

Adam deserves everything he wants, deserves all the good in life, he’s the one guy in my life that I was able to look up to, to look at and tell myself that I deserve someone who would treat me the way he would treat someone. I never thought that I would be the older sister, I'm technically not the older sister, I never wanted to be, but now I am, from now on that’s what I’ll be, and he’ll be my younger brother, but my older brother was the one who raised me.

Running a hand through my hair, I feel the tears making their way to my eyes, rushing, and I tilt my head back, hoping that by doing so, the somewhat flat angle of my head would stop the tears from falling. “How, they, they can’t just determine that, can they? I thought that they said he would be able to walk.” I can’t deal with this back and forth stuff, these new discoveries, all the new things that could help, I'm willing to spend every penny I have on his recovery, I'm just done, I wish I didn’t have to do this, I'm tired, I just want my brother back.

He’s happy; I know that he is, he would rather be alive and struggling than gone, leaving my mother and I without him. I don’t know how much of what I say to him he grasps, I don’t know how much more he can do for his mental processes, his intelligence, he was so smart, he was so articulate, he was such an amazing person before all of this. I'm not saying that he isn’t amazing anymore, if anything he’s even more amazing, he wakes up with a smile and falls asleep with a smile, he works hard, he has such a positive outlook on life, that I can’t even imagine what my life would be like without him.

“I don’t know. They haven’t told him yet.” I can hear her sigh into the phone, all of a sudden her voice isn’t as weak, doesn’t crack, she’s trying to compose herself, for who I don’t know, my brother is still in massage therapy, I know his schedule, it’s pretty much the same every day. She doesn’t have to be strong for me, I'm not blind to this, I’ve heard everything that they’ve had to say, I saw her cry, I saw her pray, she doesn’t have to hide these things from me. I pay for everything, his treatment, their room in the rehabilitation center, and it’s my contribution to his recovery, she’s there and I'm not, so I do whatever I can to make sure that he gets better.