[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterTwentyFive]

Author's Note:
So, I know that this is late. I apologize. And I know. It sucks. I just want to get into the Gielle part and Austin finding out about Devon's brother and what he does when he does know. La, la, la, um, enjoy anyway. I hope that you enjoy this.

Austin Carlile’s Point of View

“So, where do you think this relationship is going to go?” My dad’s been with us for a few days now, through the Arizona, New Mexico, and now all of the Texas dates of the tour, and not once have to two of us discussed this without the involvement of other people, it just never came up, and when it did, someone always happened to be around to comment here and there, which was always good things, they only say good things about her. “Are you guys going to try to make it work after the tour is over or is this a summer thing?”

There’s no doubt in my mind that she’s the girl that my mother told me about, that even though I thought that was every other girl I ended up dating, even though I thought it was the one I married, it wasn’t, because now I can feel it, I feel the difference. “I want to make it work.” She makes my heart feel like it’s fluttering, yet it doesn’t hurt, everything feels good when she’s around, I feel invincible, she holds me down, doesn’t let things swallow me alive, she’s good at that, she’s amazing.

Nodding his head, my father leans back on the couch we’re sitting on, in the back longue of the bus, the guys went off somewhere, who knows where, probably to check out some of the other bands play, but my dad and I haven’t really spent much time together alone. “Is that what she wants out of this, too? Does she want this to last?” I don’t think that she would have put that much emotion behind everything if she didn’t want it to work, if she just wanted a summer fling, nothing would affect her as much as they did, she wouldn’t make time to stand in the sound tent and wait for me with a cold water bottle in her hands and a smile on her face.

It makes me worry, not knowing what she really wants out of this relationship, and if I tell my father that he’ll only tell me to ask her, to get answers from her, but I don’t know how to do that, I'm pretty sure she’s committed to this relationship, I feel like asking her if she is would be a slap in the face. “I hope she does. We’re taking it day by day, dad. Isn’t that what you always said? That we just have to live day by day and hope that our attraction to each other grows?” I don’t want to say love, I'm not in love with her, we don’t know each other well enough, and Blaze mentioned something the other day, that the word is not going to be reciprocated until about four months in, when she feels comfortable, or when she brings me somewhere she tells me she hasn’t brought anyone else.

I don’t know what that means, but that’s not the first time that I didn’t understand the advice of one of Devon’s closest friends, it’s like they all speak a different language, they all beat around bushes when she’s involved. It’s like she’s fragile, delicate, and I know she is, I treat her like she is, she’s really all that I have now that isn’t part of the band, my father, or the fans. All my ex-girlfriends, they didn’t really care about music, about fans, they couldn’t give two shits, because they never realized that they're part of my life just as much, if not more, than the girls were.

Devon doesn’t want to be someone’s second priority, and she most definitely doesn’t want to fall short to a lifestyle that she knows so well, she experiences it all the time, watches how guys act when they're on tour, when they have girlfriends and when they're single. She isn’t naïve, I know that about her, I know that she’s weathered from the life, that she doesn’t want to define herself by whatever happened to her in the past, that she doesn’t like seeing herself slip away from the list of priorities in the eyes of the guy she wants to fall in love with.