[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterSeventeen]

Author's Note:

I wanted to update. Hopefully you kind of get Devon's character. She's not going to freak out on him, I promise. They're a lovely couple in my mind. But, let's be honest, who wouldn't be paranoid if they were dating someone as wonderful as Austin. Anyway, enjoy!

“No, I can’t do that. He said that he wants me to go.” Running a hand through my hair, I grip onto the hem of my shirt, pulling it off over my head, tossing it on my bunk, not caring enough to put it away nicely like I normally would. Holding my hand out for the shirt in Blaze’s hand, I raise an eyebrow when she bites down on her lower lip, holding the shirt against her chest, not giving it to me, she has something to say, I know it, it’s that determined look in her eyes to get her point across and validated. “Stop, okay. We’re in California and his dad is here. His dad is going, too. He wants me to meet his dad, and he wants me there.”

Rolling her eyes, she crosses her arms over her chest, tossing me the shirt, groaning as I pull the Aspire and Create tank top over my head. “I just think that there’s no reason for you to go. What are you going to do? You're going to sit in the back of the tent and watch how many people love your boyfriend.” It’s crazy, how similar we are, that’s why we’re best friends, she knows me so well, she knows that it’s what I'm thinking, she knows that I really don’t want to go, because I don’t, there’s nothing for me to do there, it’s a waste of my time, and I hate to say that but it’s true, I already know how many people love him.

That’s my problem. I'm so worried that he’s going to realize that he has so many people who love him that he doesn’t have to settle for me, he can have anyone he wants and I'm just the girl he chooses to spend time with until he finds that person. It’s been a day, that’s how long it’s been since he’s asked me to be his girlfriend, and it’s been a day since my mind has been working like crazy, going into overdrive, I have a headache for over twenty four hours. “I’ll help see the merchandise. I’ll talk to his dad. I don’t know. Will you come?”

Drawing her eyebrows together, she frowns, shaking her head, like she knew I was going to ask her that, I don’t want to do this alone. “I'm not going with you when you meet you boyfriend of a day’s dad. And I'm not going with you to learn how much people love Austin. Alan already told me about it and every single time someone comes over to the tent I hear about it. Why? I don’t really know. I don’t sell Of Mice and Men merchandise.” This is how she gets every single tour, only the first couple of dates, so angry and easily irritated, no one is friendly to her, everyone yells at her, she hates it; it’s bittersweet for her.

“You know exactly why you hear it. But, if it makes you feel better, I'm getting really annoyed with being known as Austin’s rumored girlfriend and not Devon Pierce.” It doesn’t make her feel any better, that doesn’t justify people treating her the way they do when she’s behind the table in the tent, I hate that there are people who are rude to her, it’s not fair to her. “Why the hell would he want me to go to this? What the hell does he think I'm going to do?” I'm not angry, I told him that I would go, I just don’t understand it, I could meet his father later, I could hang out with him when the two of us aren’t busy.

It’s sweet of him, really, to want to include me in his life, in the things that he finds the most important, but this is something that’s his and not mine, it will never be ours. There is nothing in the entire world that would make me want to sit in a wet, metal chair and watch girls flirt with him and him give them all the attention in the world. He’s like that, I know he is, he’s a flirt when he doesn’t mean to be, he cares more about his fans than he could ever care about himself, one of them called him last night, during the barbeque, he had given her his number to call him whenever she needed someone to talk to. I think that’s wonderful, it makes him a truly great person, people should look up to him, but as his girlfriend I don’t need to see him write down his number and flirt with the girls who only know him because he’s good looking.

I'm not that type of girlfriend, the one who sits there without a care in the world, who doesn’t really pay attention to the words that people say, I'm that girl, I’ve always been that girl, I observe, and most of the time my downfall is how much I observe and how little I say. I'm so paranoid, so worried that since he’s so big, since he’s so loved, that I'm not going to match up to what he’s looking for in a girlfriend.

Tucking a strand of hair behind my ear, I sigh, chewing on my lower lip, I have to call my brother later, I didn’t call him this morning, I don’t even know why I'm thinking about that. Blaze clears her throat, causing me to look up at her, startled, and she laughs. “Listen, I'm sure that it will be fine. Text me the entire time if you have to. You just have to try to enjoy the day. Talk to his dad. Help sell shirts. I don’t know. You have to stop letting your thoughts freak you out.”

&&.

“This is Asia.” He places a hand on her shoulder, a wide smile pulling the corner of his lips upward, his voice so cheery. I honestly don’t know why I'm here, this is awkward, I'm uncomfortable, I don’t want to be here, it’s not something that I should be here for, this isn’t my thing, this is his thing. Forcing a smile to tug at my lips, I hold my hand out for her to shake, only to have her wrap her arms around me in a friendly hug, but seconds later she lets go.

Looking up at Austin, I smile as he grabs my hand with his, lacing our fingers together, looking back to Asia, watching as she smiles up at him. “It’s nice to meet you, Asia. I'm Devon.” I know how to be nice, I know my manners, there’s really nothing that’s stopping me from being nice to her, although her smile says something else, and she’s silently flirting with him. Running a hand through my hair, I inwardly cringe; of course, even the girl who sells his clothing line’s merchandise finds him attractive and flirts with him.

A man walks out from the tent, stepping behind it to get to where we are, and Austin drops my hand and takes two quick steps over to his father, wrapping his arms around him in a hug. “Dad, it’s great to see you.” It’s so nice to see him this happy, to see him with his father, it’s a side of him that I love seeing, his face lit up so bright. I miss my mom, I miss my brother, I miss them so much, they would be here, well, Adam would have been here, and my mom would stop at every date that she could.

The two of them let go of each other, and Austin turns to face me, smiling widely. “Dad, this is my girlfriend, Devon. Devon, this is my dad.” I can deal with meeting his dad, his dad doesn’t flirt with him, and his dad doesn’t say hateful words about me to my face. Walking over to him, I hold my hand out for him to shake, and yet again I'm pulling into a hug, but this time I smile, I hug him back, because his approval means the world to Austin, his approval means that what everyone else says doesn’t matter to Austin.

Laughing softly, I smile as the two of us drop our arms to the side, running a hand through my hair only to have Austin grab my wrist and slide his hand down my arm, intertwining our fingers. “We’ll catch up after the signing?” He asks, as if his father is just going to leave, but he’s not, I’ve never seen a father so proud to see his son work. It’s nice to see family, a real family, on tour together, to see the joy shining in the parent’s eyes at the achievements his son made, I miss it.

“Of course we will. And it’s so nice to meet you, Devon. Apparently, Austin was hoping that you would like him since before the tour started.” His father realizes that he probably shouldn’t have said anything, that he said something that Austin didn’t want to be said, that I haven’t been told, and my cheeks burn red with a blush as I look up at Austin, raising an eyebrow.

Rubbing the back of his neck, Austin laughs, as if he didn’t want me to ever know that, but that’s important, that makes all of this easier, the tweets, the looks, the words, just being with him is hard and it would be nice to know that he’s happy we’re together.