[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterTwentyEight]

Author's Note:
Um, I just want to get to the Maryland date in this story. Sigh.

The room is silent, except for the inhale and exhale of all of us breathing, anything is this room could be heard, no matter how quiet, we would be able to hear it, but right now, my ears are ringing, my face is so hot, I think I'm sweating, and I don't care, this isn't okay, this would never be okay. We went from laughing at how any of us thought that we would see her, in a crowd so large, is a place so spread out, there was no way that we would ever actually run into her, and now she’s here, she found him.

Burying my face in my hands, I bite down on my lower lip, close to drawing blood, but it’s all I can do to stop myself from saying something, from freaking out, from crying, I just want to rip my hair out, strand by strand, it’s so tempting. My hair falls in front of my face, around my hands, and I curl a strand of hair around my finger, and slowly tug at it, knowing that this isn’t going to help any, I'm not really going to feel better, she’s still going to be standing in the pathway. There’s no reason to say anything, I don’t want to look up, I don’t want to look at her, I don’t want to look at Austin, I don’t want to look at any of the guys, I don’t want to know what’s happening, I wish I wasn’t able to hear, I wish I was deaf, this isn’t okay.

She can’t just come in the bus as if she’s wanted here, no one likes her, at least as far as I know everyone hates her, and I don’t understand why she would think that it’s okay for her to walk back into his life. I'm really hot, my body feels hot, my face feels hot, but I'm not sweating, I'm not panting for air, everything around me is cool, and I feel like I'm burning, I'm so confused, I'm so shocked, I'm so angry, I don’t know what to feel, what to think.

Austin places a hand on my thigh, causing me to look up at him, and he bites down on his lower lip, noticing that I'm not okay, that I can’t handle this situation, I don’t want to be here, and he drops his gaze to his lap. And suddenly, I feel horrible, I don’t mean to upset him, I'm not good at in situations like this, I can’t be thrown off guard, I can’t be around someone who did so much damage as she did, and I know that she’s capable of whatever she wants to be capable of.

“Can we help you?” Alan pipes up, lifting his head, his eyes moving from the screen of his phone to Gielle, and I can hear the annoyance in his voice, but I don’t know if it’s because he was forced to be the one to talk to her or if it’s because he had to stop texting Blaze for a few minutes. “And, by the way, welcome to New Jersey. Is it different than California? See, I didn’t expect you to know, considering you love in California and not New Jersey.”

He doesn’t make any sense, I can’t really understand him, but she knits her eyebrows together and the corners of her mouth twitched, like she was trying to stop a frown from pulling at her lips. “I came to talk to Austin.” Her voice is so calm, so pitch perfect, like she practiced what she wants to say in the mirror before she got here, that she was asking the friend who is standing behind her in only a bra and short to listen to her recite what she wants to say while they were walking here.

What I don’t understand the most is why whatever his name is brought them here, why he allowed them to follow him to the bus. He can’t really be blamed, his voice was dull and unenthusiastic when he told us that she’s here, and Austin talks about how he’s the best tour manager that they’ve had, and I don’t know what she’s done to get here, I don’t want to know. Glancing at Austin from the corner of my eye, I drop my hands to my lap, pressing my back against the cushion of the booth, swallowing the lump in my throat, waiting for him to say something, anything.

Running his fingers through his hair, he shakes his head, knitting his eyebrows together, and I can see his chest rising and falling in angry breaths. “I have nothing to say to you, and I don’t want to hear anything that you have to say to me.”

Asia’s eyes meet mine, and she shrugs her shoulders, not knowing what’s going on, not knowing if she should say something, but I don’t think that this is our fight, this is between Austin and Gielle, and as much as I hate it, I know that is has to happen. I'm not telling him what to do, I'm not saying a word, I'm not getting involved, this sucks, everything about it, that it’s in New Jersey, that it’s now, that it includes her, none of us really expected it, we weren’t anticipating it so we didn’t know what to do.

“Is it because of the tramp sitting next to you? Off with another one of your whores? Is she another Playboy friend of yours?” Her questions throw me off guard, I have no idea what she’s talking about, why she’s saying those things about me, I don’t even know how to react, because the smug look in her eyes is matched with an ugly smirk. “Seriously, Austin, we didn’t get divorced so you can whore around.”

My mouth drops open, and I press my lips together in a tight, straight line, trying to process all of this, what she’s saying about me, what she’s saying about these Playboy friends of his, about the reason she believes they got divorced, I don’t know what to say. But, I don’t have to say anything, because Austin raises an eyebrow, tilting his head to the side, sliding out of the booth to stand in front of her, looking down at her, and I stay where I am on the booth.

This doesn’t even, none of this, I wouldn’t believe that this would happen, I can’t claim that I saw it coming, because I didn’t, I don’t know how I would, this is like a dream, but I can’t wake up from it, it’s a fucking nightmare. “I'm not a tramp.” I want my voice to be louder than it is, I know that no one can hear me, that only Alan can, because he’s sitting in front of me, on the booth that faces the one I'm in, and he nods his head in agreement, shrugging his shoulders, and it’s almost as if everyone is trying to look the other way, that they don’t want to be a witness to whatever fight is about to break out between the two of them.

“You have no right to talk about my girlfriend that way, Gielle. She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So watch your fucking mouth.”