[AustinCarlile] Live Forever

[AustinCarlile] Live Forever [ChapterThirtyFive]

“So, I'm going to take a few minutes just to talk to you guys. Stop yelling so I can talk.” It’s pointless, he’s not going to be able to get a word in, especially with all the screaming, and I suddenly don’t want him to say anything, I take back my permission, I don’t want to hear it, my stomach is killing me. “No, I'm being completely serious. I want to talk to you guys about something that’s important to me.” Holding out his hand, he brings one finger up to his lips, trying to get everyone to stop, to quiet down, and suddenly everyone must have realized he was serious because they stop almost immediately, and those who don’t get punched by someone next to them.

Running a hand through his hair, he glances at me from the corner of his eye and my eyes grow wide, only to have him send me a soft, sweet smile, one that tells me that everything will be okay, that all I have to do is trust him and take that jump. “So, there’s this girl who means the world to me. And recently I met someone in her life that means just a little more than I do to her.” I can see the hatred and jealousy burning in some of the girls’ eyes with the mention of a female friend, but Austin only smiles and nods his head in their direction, as if to tell them they have to get over it and themselves.

“So, this girl’s brother practically raised her. He means the world to her. And almost three years ago he was in a car accident. He was driving on the highway, in the middle lane, and this woman on the right lane was talking on her phone and kept swerving into his lane. He couldn’t get into the left lane, so he honked at her to get her to realize what she was doing. Instead of turning the wheel to the right, she turned it left, and hit him. He went right into the barricade between the two highways and her car went into his. She, somehow, left the scene without any injuries.

“But, he, Adam, he didn’t leave the scene without a scratch. He, uh, he broke close to every bone in his lower body and his skull was fractured and he had serious internal bleeding. He had second degree burns pretty much everywhere. When he got to the hospital, he was in so much pain, and the doctors couldn’t do anything with him while he was in that much pain because he was clenching his muscles and he was screaming. So they induced him into a coma, which they didn’t know if he was going to come out of – not because of the coma, but because of the damage done to his body.

“Two and a half months later he woke up. The girl, shit, she couldn’t cut herself because that was too visible. So instead she started to pull her hair out. Her mother was working four jobs instead of two like she used to. Everything that my friend and her brother had planned for their lives went on hold. While she got to continue her dream, he doesn’t. He’s stuck in a wheelchair. He’s no longer independent. She’s the older sister to her older brother. He’s still struggling with speech and he lost a lot of cognitive ability that he’s luckily working at bringing back into his life.

“Right now, I need you all to promise me something. You’re going to have to promise me a few things. One, you cannot and will not talk on your cell phone or text when you're driving and you won’t let anyone else do that, especially if you’re in the car with them. Two, do not take anything for granted. Tell your loved ones that you love them every chance you get. Three, never, ever look at someone with a disability and make fun of them. That is not the type of person in my life, and you are not a fan of mine if you do things like that.”

I didn’t stay to hear the rest of whatever he planned for his speech, I left, walked out of the amphitheater from behind the stage and made my way over to the buses. It was only partially because I don’t want to hear it, I don’t want to hear him say it, it’s all so much more real than it was when it was just between a few people; the other half of it was because I had a photo shoot to get to, I had somewhere to be, and he knew that, he knew I wasn’t staying for his whole set.

Running a hand through my hair, I stop walking when I see feet stop in front of me, I know that someone is stopping me to talk, and I'm not in the mood to talk. There are times when I just don’t want to talk to people, when I wish I could shut out the world and block everyone in it out, they just don’t understand it if they aren’t in the band or a part of the band. Crossing my arms over my chest, I look up to meet Josh’s eyes, only to sigh softly, relieved that it’s just him, and throw my arms around him in a hug.

Stumbling backwards at my force, he laughs softly, snaking his arms around my waist and clasping his fingers together behind my back. “What is going on in that head of yours? And I heard your boyfriend. I'm proud of you for opening up.” Resting my head on his chest, I sigh, closing my eyes softly, swallowing the lump in my throat; I trust Austin to tell my story, I do, I trust him more than I trust people I’ve known for years, but this is huge, and I don’t know. “Hey, stop that, look, listen, okay, you’re going to be okay. You have the money. You have the support. And, you have to take all of this as a blessing.”

“I know. It’s, just, I don’t know, really.” Wiggling out of his grasp, I shrug my shoulders, chewing down on my lower lip as I realize that all my fears and worries are just the weights that I'm keeping on my shoulders. All night, I dream of water that can wash the weight of the world from my shoulders. I have my mom. I have my band. I have Tatum and Blaze and Asia. I have all the other bands who have become my family. I have Austin.