Loneliness and I had grown quite close over the years. We shared a bond that I had never shared with anyone else. When everything in life was spiraling out of control, loneliness was the one thing I could always count on.
Loneliness was my best fri...
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The car ride back to my apartment only took about 30 minutes, and the first fifteen of them, we spent in complete and utter silence. Gideon was sitting behind the passengers seat, one leg crossed over the other; staring out of the window as though it would give him the answers to the questions I knew were plaguing his mind. I knew that after tonight, he would only have more questions. More in depth questions. Questions that I couldn't answer for him, mostly because I didn't want to relive those horrors, but partly because I didn't even have the right answers for him.
I had tucked my legs underneath me, and I too, looked out of the window. My brain was trying to process the recent events, but it was having a lot of difficulty. There were so many things I wanted to know, but knowing meant opening up, making us both vulnerable, and I couldn't have that. Not while I knew he was coming for me eventually.
One thing I couldn't get figure out, though, was why I was so quick to point that gun at those men I didn't know.
Had he really fucked me up so badly that I feared I would find a little piece of him in every man I ever came in contact with? Certainly not. I had spent the whole afternoon and night with Gideon, and he hadn't scared me. Well, until he started yelling and moving towards me a little too quickly.
So I guess the answer was yes. He had made sure he would be lurking in the darkest shadows haunting every man I ever knew.
"I wouldn't have shot any of your men, you know." I mumbled, my eyes slowly drifting from the window to Gideon. He took a deep breath and exhaled before turning to face me, I could see his eyes reflecting the street lights we drove past. His eyebrow was furrowed, as if he was trying to figure out if I was being truthful or not. I guess I could throw him a bone. "I've had a pretty tough past, especially with men. I was scared, and in an unfamiliar place, I reacted accordingly. I wouldn't have shot anyone." I shrugged, my eyes boring into his.
"I believe you. I'm sorry that I scared you, it wasn't my intentions." Gideon said, his voice was low and his expression was softer. "I was scared too, honestly. I didn't want you anywhere near my work. It's too dangerous." He had turned to face me, resting his arm on the back of the seat; his fingertips were close to my face.
"Yeah, I figured as much. The gunshots kinda gave it away." I told him, rolling my eyes into the back of my head. What kind of job would you even have that resulted in casual deaths? I could hear Gideon chuckle.
"Damn, I knew the gunshots were gonna ruin our fun night." He said sarcastically, snapping his fingers. I caught myself grinning at him as the SUV pulled into the parking lot of my apartments. "We're here." He told me, wiping his palms on the knees of his jeans. I straightened my shirt and went to open the door before Gideon reached out slowly. "Hey, do you mind if I come upstairs? There's a few things we need to talk about." He said, my body had gone rigid and I tried to relax back into the seat but failed. I didn't want him coming up to my apartment. That would lead to more questions.
