lost // bellarke

{ ten }

Clarke and Octavia ran through the halls of the hospital and soon they ran into Bellamy. Clarke was confused and so was Bellamy but the one who was actually more confused, was Octavia.

"Did they call you about Jasper?" Octavia asked and Bellamy looked at her, raising an eyebrow.

"No. I was called because of mom, she had an accident. I was just about to call you. What happened to Jasper?"

"He had an accident too." Clarke said as the tears started to run through her face. "Maybe it was the same accident?"

"They told me it was a double accident. Mom is in surgery but there was a guy who died. That's all they said." He said and Clarke covered her mouth. 

Please not Jasper.

"Is mom okay?" Octavia asked before she busted into tears and Bellamy held her close.

"She will." Bellamy said low, not really believing it.

"Clarke Griffin?" A nurse asked and Clarke turned around to face the woman. "I talked with you on the phone. I wish I was allowed to give you the information through the phone but I couldn't, I'm s—"

"I know this conversation." Clarke looked at her. "Now you're going to tell me that he's dead and you did everything you could. Aren't you?" Her voice was louder but softer. Her tears were running faster than The Flash.

"Did-did anyone survive the surgery?" Bellamy asked, his voice crashing a little.

"There was a woman, Aurora Blake who was being operated and she didn't make it either. I'm terrible sorry." The nurse said and she walked away slowly.

Clarke turned slowly and she faced two broken people. Their mother and best-friend just had died and everyone was losing their minds. Bellamy pulled the two girls for a deep hug and honestly, no one could understand who was crying more. 

—

It was 3 hours later when Bellamy, Clarke and Octavia finally got home. Obviously Bellamy didn't get the job but it didn't matter anymore. Apparently Jasper and Aurora had both an insurance in case of their death. 

Jasper's insurance only covered in case of accident, while Aurora covered in case of any kind of death. Clarke got Jasper's whole money and the Blake's got Aurora.

Yet, they felt like nothing. What does money matter when you don't have the people who "give it" to you? It doesn't matter.

Octavia said she needed to talk with them but first, she went to her room while Bellamy and Clarke sat on the couch, without saying a word. 

"Our daughter. Our friend. My mother who was your friend. God does really hate us." Bellamy said quietly.

"There's no God, Bellamy. I prayed everyday and every night for Madi and yet, he still took her away. I stopped believing  him." Clarke said low.

"Octavia's devastated." Bellamy said low.

"She is. I wish we could do something to help her." Clarke sighed.

"I wish we could do anything at all." He said and Octavia walked downstairs slowly.

"I think.. I think Jasper would want you to know this." She said low and Clarke looked at her carefully.

"What's going on?" Clarke asked while Octavia inserted a CD on a DVD player.

"Just watch." Octavia said low as she pressed play and sat next to Bellamy, who held her close.

"Hey guys." A voice spoke on the screen but it was black. That was Jasper's voice. "Damn, stupid camera." Jasper said and after a while, he showed up. He seemed... off.

"What a hell?" Bellamy asked low.

"So, if you're seeing this is because something bad happened. I hope I died peacefully, otherwise it all goes for nothing. After you see all of this, you'll probably think it was suicide. That I couldn't hold back anymore but I promise you, whatever it happened, it wasn't suicide. I know you don't believe in God, Clarke, but if he made me, he killed me." Jasper said stopping for a while.

"Jasper." Clarke said low, tears running again through her face.

"Some time ago, Madi was sick. I was the one who examined her. I shouldn't have because I was a nurse but I did because Clarke couldn't do it and she didn't trust anyone to touch Madi. Which is understandable." He smiled a little and the three people watching it, started to sob. "Clarke never left her side. Or Octavia, even if it was via Skype. Or even Bellamy. He wasn't there but we all made sure Madi knew her father. Her hero, she said." Jasper goes on. "On the operation day, I asked all the nurses to help, but no one would come. No one had balls enough to go against the directors orders. Not even for Madi and everyone loved Madi." He said and the tears were already noticeable.

"But Jasper was there." Clarke said softly.

"But I had to be there. And I regret every single day for that." He said and everyone got confused. "There was slightly chances of survival with Clarke's procedure but it was the only way that everything was gone. If the method succeeded, Madi would be okay. No more sickness." He chuckled. "But if it failed, Clarke would blame herself until the end of her days." Jasper said and Clarke nodded slowly. "So in the middle of the surgery, when Clarke told me to get any other nurse, I did what she feared the most. I called the director. It was me who sold you out." Jasper said and Clarke gasped in surprised and sadness.

"No." Clarke said low.

"I rather you hating anyone else other than hating yourself and I'm so sorry she died, Clarke. I'm so, so but so sorry." Jasper said and Bellamy pulled Clarke closer. "The pain was killing me. Soon as Octavia and your dad suggested me to bring you to Mahone Bay, to home, I took that chance, so you could find happiness again." Jasper said as the tears were burning his eyes. 

"Oh god." Bellamy mumbled.

"I'm so sorry, Clarke. I hope someday you can forgive me. I just wanted you to be okay. I thought I was doing the right thing but I wasn't. I see that now. I love you, guys. So much. And Bellamy? Take care of them for me." 

When the video ended, Clarke looked at the black screen and she broke down. Octavia ran upstairs and Clarke begged Bellamy to follow her. Octavia needed Clarke but she also needed her brother. Bellamy kissed Clarke's head before he followed Octavia.

Clarke's hand were shaking but yet, she managed to display Jackson's number. 

"Clarke?"

"He's dead. Jasper's dead." Clarke said and silence went on. "I know he was the one who called the director and I'm so sorry for all these time I've spent hating you." Clarke said as she cries.

"It's okay, Clarke. It's okay." Jackson said softly and Clarke sobbed. 

"I'm so sorry." Clarke said one last time before she hunged up and took several breathes, pulling her hair out of her face.

Jasper was gone.

Aurora was gone.

Madi was gone.