lost // bellarke

{ nineteen }

After Bellamy went to meet Echo, Clarke had finally decided to go to Octavia's room. Octavia was on her bed, holding into Chewy and crying.

"Octavia..." Clarke mumbled as she lay down next to Octavia, cuddling here. "I'm here."

"Are you cuddling me?" Octavia mumbled while she tried to stop the tears that fell so quickly out of her face.

"Yes." Clarke said low which made Octavia chuckled a little. Eventually both of them sat up.

"Can you explain me what is a heart transplant?" Octavia said low and Clarke nodded.

"Well, first if he's doing it it's because his heart isn't psychically strong enough for his body, which means his heart doesn't pump enough blood to his body or he may had a coronary artery disease, using non-medical language, it means that it all could have started with a chest pain. Then the tiredness and swelling came along."

"Is there any contraindications? Or complications?"

"At any surgery there are contraindications or complications. Even if it's the smallest surgery." Clarke nodded. "The contraindications are a lot but he doesn't fit in on any so it's not a problem. The complications that could happen are mostly infections."

"Worst case scenario?" Octavia asked scared.

"His body rejects the new heart." 

"A—And what after that?"

"That's the basics I know, my specialty is with kids." Clarke smiled a little and Octavia nodded slowly.

"What's the death rate?"

"It's 5-10%. It's very low, Octavia. The chances of him surviving that surgery are really big. He's going to do great." 

"I just— I can't lose him. I can't lose my brother." Octavia said, tearing up and Clarke pulled her into a hug. 

"I know, angel. You won't." Clarke said low.

—

"You okay?" Echo asked Bellamy, who shrugged looking away.

"Me and Octavia fought. And Clarke told me to come here. She would take care of Octavia." Bellamy said, looking at his plate. "I don't deserve them. Octavia I'm stuck with." Bellamy chuckled. "But Clarke? She doesn't own me anything. She can leave."

"She won't leave." Echo said, smiling a little.

"That's why I have to make her." Bellamy took a deep breathe. "She deserves more, Echo. When I told her and Octavia about the surgery, she could have snapped for not telling her soon. Every time I make mistakes she forgives me. It's like she doesn't think twice, Echo. Clarke is so— She's so everything, I love her so much but she deserves so much more than me." Bellamy said.

"That's your sadness talking, Bellamy. Clarke loves you."

"She has to stop. She deserves better, Echo. I need to push her away."