Break me

XXXIV

Dad and I ate dinner together and at this time we:

1. Discussed his girlfriend

And in during this discussion he:

1. Finally admitted he is dating her

2. Although I don't know why he had to admit it because I already knew. I knew for a long time. Everyone did. Even though I've never met her, I still knew. It was obvious.

3. Asked me to define dating

4. Then told me my definition is wrong, even though it was exactly the same as everyone else has told him. And it was right.

5. I do actually know what dating is.

6. Disregarded my advice about why his girlfriend feels threatening and how to eliminate those fears.

7. I have every right to feel threatened. I can feel however I want!

8. Talked about you. How you slipped away.

9. He said he wanted you to feel useful. Because he loved you and didn't want you to give up. But you kinda did give up. All you did was cry to your friends on the phone and ignore you kids. And your husband apparently. Anyways.

10. Then he talked about us finally meeting her.

11. He told me that she wouldn't want to meet his children if she thought they were going to be hostile towards her.

12. I told him that she should expect hostility.

13. I was completely right! She can. She can't expect us to love her! It's an awkward situation. I'm never going to like her. It's immature of her to date my father for months and not care about meeting me. She is immature. I have no reason to like her. He's the one who likes her, not me. And it's not fair of him to go off on dates while I'm left on the couch throwing up. I'm not going to pretend to be friendly to her. I'm not a pretender. That's a good thing too. I should be real. I shouldn't pretend anything. It's immature to pretend and not let people know how you feel. If I don't say what I want, I'm never going to get it. I'm not.

14. Dad got super mad at me and said he is cancelling this dinner meeting.

15. So I guess I'm not going to meet her.

16. Because my dad cares more about his girlfriend's feelings than mine.

Feeling = bitter