Break me

xli

I started college this week. Yay! Can you believe that I would ever actually make it to college? No, I can't either.

So what else is new with me? I don't really know. I guess I'm kinda hurt from everything my dad is doing with his girlfriend. His girlfriend... where to begin with her? She was supposed to go see a movie with our family because in my opinion, she needs to be doing more family things, since she probably will become a member of this family someday. sigh. but get this. She canceled. About an hour before movie time, she sent my dad a message, saying she was too tired from work couldn't make it. That's RUDE right? It is rude! Anyways, dad got super mad at me for saying that. Ag. It seems like he just won't tolerate any criticism towards her, even though it is deserved. And he never defends me like that. :( Ag ag.

I guess love changes people. It makes their priorities sway. It makes them care more about their girlfriends than their children. It makes me want to cry. sigh.

even though gaye canceled on the movie, she had no problem planning another date with my dad tonight. to go for dinner at a friend's house. and of course, I wasn't invited. sigh. I'm never invited. She doesn't care that my dad has kids. All she cares about is taking my dad away from me.

And I'm really sorry that I hate her. But I can't help it. I've already lost my mom, and now, I'm losing my dad too.

It's not fair. It's not fair that I have to sit at home by myself while he's out with her and her friends. Wasn't he my dad before she was his girlfriend? Wasn't he?

I don't want to be one of those bratty kids that hold's their dad back from his eternal happiness just because she's jealous but I can't even go somewhere myself with my friends because dad's pickup broke down so he took my car on his date.

And I'm hungry, and my foot hurts, and I'm lonely. And there's nothing I can do about that. Nothing at all.

and I'm not dad's priority anymore. she is. the woman who wants nothing to do with any of his children. sigh.