Who We Are

Goodbye dear one

I gasped. I couldn't believe Louis. How could he? My feet were glued. There was this void in my chest. It had swallowed my emotions. Lee stared at Louis and he looked disappointed. Shocked and tired. His nose was bleeding. Louis starting pacing muttering furiously. He looked up at me his eyes full of hurt. "What am I supposed to do?" He shouted at the sky. "What am I supposed to do?" He hissed at me. Lee was so done. "I'm done man!" He growled. " I'm sick of this! Of you! Lily is dying! And you don't even care do you?" His voice was shaking. " Of course I do!" Louis growled. "But we can't leave her behind! You don't leave family behind!" Lee gave a harsh laugh. " Family huh? You met her days ago! You've known us for years! I called you my brother! I trusted you! Lily trusted you! And you're going to let her die?" Go to hell man! We don't need you! I'm tired of cleaning up your messes!" He pointed at me. " That pretty little damsel in distress shows up and suddenly it all fall apart! Coincidence ? I think not!  Whys she different? How the hell could she be so strong? Ever since she came here creepers are stronger and everywhere! The weather changed drastically and I've been making charts. The whole island is going crazy since she came up! And then she mistakenly burns everything down? How can you trust her? For all we know she's with the people who sent us here and she's spying on us or trying to get us killed!" Hot tears slipped down my cheeks. How could he say that? I wasn't a traitor but it was my fault I'll admit. But I don't know what the hells going on. This was my family. And they were falling apart because of me. Lee was a friend of mine. He was like a brother. And he thought that of me? I felt hurt and betrayed. But I couldn't be selfish. They wouldn't get hurt because of me. I walked to Louis. He had clenched his fists. I wiped my tears. His blue eyes bore into mine. I grabbed his hand. " Louis" I whispered. " You need to go! Now!" He shook his head. I spoke harshly" Lily is dying! I'm touched and all but she's your family! I barely know you! Have you ever asked me if I even liked hanging out with you?" My heart beat was so damn fast. I had lied. I could hardly swallow the lump in my throat. " Go to camp! I've caused enough damage already! Lily's like your sister! It's safe in camp! Stay there! Admit it... Theres no way out! You've wasted so many months and I think everybody's had enough! You've done enough ! It was pointless! Stupid! I can protect myself! I have to take care of business anyway. And it none of your business." His jaw clenched. " Hear me ? There's no way out! Trust me I know! You don't know anything about me! What if Ive been lying the whole time? But I'm done lying! Go! " O tried to control my breathing. His eyes were so full of... hate. And mistrust and betrayal. I wanted to hug him and tell him to hope for the best. To stay with me. But we both knew that the others would die without him. He stared at me for a moment longer and then left. Without a word or glance. No goodbyes. Lee stared at me blankly too and finally left. I couldn't bear to look at Lily or Katie. I could hardly see because of the tears. Sobbed racked my body. I didn't care about creepers or supplies but I took off running. I ran and ran , the wind in my face.
My mind was mess. His words still echoed. They were gone...
My legs turned to jelly. I felt a dull ache in my body but I was so numb... I leaned against a tree and cried. I sobbed and sobbed because they were gone. And they hated me. And there wasn't a goodbye because nothing about it was good.