The next morning when I woke up to Grayson roughly shaking my leg, I could already feel nerves settling in my stomach. I wasn't even sure if I was going to ask her out, and I was still nervous. Stumbling out of bed, I grabbed a pair of basketball shorts off the ground. If I did end up asking her out today, it wouldn't hurt to look good. I should probably work out.
Sure enough, when I jammed my AirPods in my ear while walking in, I smacked into Grayson, who was fumbling with his own music.
"Long time, no see." he smirked. "You haven't worked out since we switched lives for a video."
"Shut it." I snapped.
"Lot on your mind?" he continued.
"Yeah," I admitted. "Need to run."
And so I did, walking for a few seconds before cranking up the speed of the treadmill. I ran for two and a half miles, and quit after every thought was as exhausted as my lungs.
"Jesus, E," Grayson mumbled, when I paced in circles, hands overhead, regaining my breath. "You are a mess."
"I guess so." I huffed. Once I was evenly breathing, I moved onto weights, making sure I would feel my muscles aching later today. By the time I finished lifting and showering, it was one in the afternoon. I checked my phone for a text from Emma. Nothing.
I gave in and texted her first. 'How is interview going?'
I knew she wouldn't reply, but she would know that I remembered the interview. Sooner than I expected, she replied.
'just finished. pick me up?'
I bolted out of my room. "I'm leaving!" I shouted at Gray.
"Good luck, bro! Don't be an idiot. Tell her how you feel!" he yelled back. I squeezed my eyes shut. I still didn't know what I was going to say when I saw her.
I clenched and unclenched my hands from the steering wheel of my jeep, feeling my palms slicken. When I pulled up to her apartment building and typed in the passcode, I parked and texted her.
'outside'
In seconds, she responded.
'come in for a sec'
So I shut off the car, locked it, and ambled over to her entrance. I knocked before opening the door.
"Emma, you really need to lock that-" I started, closing the door behind me.
"The polaroids," she whispered frantically.
"What?" I asked, confused. "What about them?"
"I think they were in the shot. During the interview. People will see." she said.
"Oh." I sighed. "Shit."
Emma squatted, putting her head in her hands. "I'm so stupid."
"No, no, it's fine. They can just block them out or something." I reasoned, gently taking her arm and pulling her up. It was time for a much-needed hug.
I pulled her in, arms wrapped securely around her shoulders. She pushed her face right up against my chest and clamped her arms around my middle. I rubbed her back up and down.
"It's going to be fine, Emma," I assured her. She let go of me and wiped her face.
"Why does this shit always happen to me." she wondered aloud. I shrugged awkwardly and walked over to her desk.
"These polaroids?" I asked.
"Yep."
It was the one of her and I hugging, us and Grayson, Olivia, Bryant and her, and then the one with her legs wrapped around my waist. That was pretty obvious.
"Yeah, these are pretty clear-cut." I observed.
"Should I just ask the guy to blur them?" she asked, walking up next to me and analyzing the photos.
"If you think that's less obvious than just letting them be." I decided, instinctively throwing an arm around her shoulder.
"I'll probably do that. Get ready for another round of chaos," she warned.
"Nothing that we can't handle," I said smoothly. "How about the froyo? I haven't eaten anything all day."
"Nothing?" she gasped. She playfully grabbed at my stomach and I giggled, swatting at her hand to stop her. "Is that why you have a six pack? You never eat?"
I mentally thanked myself for working out this morning.
"Can't relate. I ate a whole box of cheez-its before you were here because I was so stressed about the stupid polaroids." she sighed. I opened the door for her and she locked it behind her, following me to the car.
"You still like the brand new Jeep?" she teased.
"Of course!" I insisted. "Top down till November."
"Bullshit." she laughed.
"Where do you wanna go?" I asked.
"I don't care," Emma replied.
"You always say that. Pressed?" I said, knowing what she liked.
"Yeah." she smiled, "Thanks."
While we were on the street, I turned to say something to her, but I stopped. Her hand tightly gripped the frame of the Jeep's door, her eyes were closed, and her hair and eyelashes fluttered from the wind. I turned back to the road and sighed in content. I had to tell her.
We pulled up a few minutes later, and I was pleased there wasn't anyone around. I couldn't imagine being asked for a picture right before confessing that I was obsessed with her. Emma ordered for us, two vanilla cups with almond butter and chocolate drizzle. And two wellness shots, which we took first, sputtering and cringing the whole way through.
"That. Is. Disgusting." Emma spat. I just coughed.
"This is better." I declared, digging into my dessert.
"Mmm." Emma agreed. A few seconds went by.
Do it now, Ethan. Now!
"So I wanted to tell you something." I began, before I chickened out.
"Yeah?" Emma prompted, licking her spoon.
"I've really enjoyed hanging out with you these past few weeks, and I'm so glad James introduced us. I've dealt with a lot of shitty friends before and I can tell you're not going to be one of them."
"Me, too." Emma smiled. I took a deep breath.
"I also wanted to say that I think I like you a little more than just friends. And that me coming over at night doesn't have to stop, and we can maybe, like..." I trailed off, gauging her reaction. She had stopped eating and was looking down at her hands. I snaked my hand across the table and took her hand in one of mine. She was startled.
"Um, I'm sorry," I said, desperately trying to save the situation.
"No, Ethan. I'm so, so flattered. And I really enjoy spending time with you too." she stuttered.
"So..?" I prompted, growing nervous by the second.
"You have no idea-" Emma began softly.
"Don't do that," I said fiercely, my voice laced with pain.
"What your friendship means to me." she continued.
"Come on. I don't want to do that. I want to be more than that, Emma." I pleaded, frantically rubbing my thumb against her hand. She opened her mouth.
"Ethan, I can't."
***
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