The next few weeks were hard. Ethan's off put sense of humor was diminished, if not gone. Grayson spent 80% of his time alone, even though he lived with Ethan. Speaking of the house, the boys hadn't left it in an extended amount of time. I had taken it upon myself to check up on them often, which put many miles on my car. I didn't mind.
Fans continued to show up at their door, and Ethan had slammed the door in one's face one day and was ridden with guilt about it. He only let it go after an hour-long conversation with me about privacy. His father's funeral wasn't ideal either. It took a toll on both boys, but especially Ethan, who valued his privacy more than anything.
Olivia and my other friends texted me relentlessly, since I usually ended up at someone else's place at least once a week, asking me where I was. I had to explain I was constantly at the Dolan's after Sean's passing. They stopped asking quickly. I spent most nights at the Dolan's and took turns doing household chores with Bryant. I slept with Ethan, and Bryant took the guest room when he stayed. I would stay at my house for a night, to get something I needed, wash some clothes, and keep up with my own apartment. But for now, I needed to be around to support Ethan.
So I quickly fell into a routine of waking up before Ethan, and either making breakfast or ordering something. He never wanted to go out on a brunch date like we used to. I was never up before Grayson however. I could always find him working out, and I brought him water bottles, reminding him to drink up. Bryant and I were convinced that he was trying to kill himself in the gym. He almost had, in fact.
Well, that's an overstatement. He had briefly mentioned a hurting wrist, and when I snuck a look, I noticed it swollen and bruised. Only then did I see a little bit of the old Ethan awaken. He was extremely concerned and volunteered to take Grayson straight to urgent care. I convinced him that a 24 hr clinic would suffice. He had indeed broken his left wrist and was wearing a cast. He snickered when they put it on him.
"Can I have black?" he asked.
"Of course," the doctor said absently.
"Like when we were on tour? Remember, E?" he recalled brightly.
"I remember," Ethan said fondly. And I could've sworn I saw his entire persona change. "That was so fun,"
"Grayson, would you say you workout often?" the doctor said, interrupting the slightest bit of progress the twins had made.
"Um, yes," he said.
"You've got strained and pulled muscles everywhere. Are you feeling sore or in pain...everywhere?" the doctor asked him.
"No," he answered quickly.
"He works out every day. For a long time, and he doesn't drink enough water" I supplied, "And, like, all of his muscles are torn?"
"Most, yes. Especially the arms and shoulders. I'm surprised you aren't waddling around." the doctor joked. "Let me see if we can scan you for a better look..."
"That won't be necessary," Grayson insisted, but the doctor was already out the door.
"You're working out too much?" Ethan questioned.
"I work out to improve myself," Grayson said, monotone.
"No, you work out to feel something. To feel pain," Ethan accused.
"I. Do. Not." Grayson insisted teeth gritted.
"Liar!" Ethan yelped, "I've done it too! I can't feel anything either, but I'm not breaking my bones about it!"
"Stop it, Ethan. Now." Grayson said, face heating up.
"Quit it. You're both on the same team," I said shakily, confused at what Ethan was saying. He couldn't feel anything? We hadn't talked about this at 2 am yet.
The doctor came in, showed us x-rays of Grayson's shoulder, which he brushed off, and we left. And he went back to destroying his body, day by day. He was up at 4 am, and went to bed at midnight, at the earliest, insisting that sleep brought nightmares. Bryant found that he could help Grayson better, and I helped Ethan better. Shockingly, Ethan wanted to talk about Sean, and how he felt, and when he dreamt of him. Grayson was the opposite, stone cold and quiet. It was strange because usually, Grayson was the talker of the two, and Ethan hated nothing more than emotions.
My role had switched from the stressed teenager dealing with a new environment to the devoted girlfriend, desperately trying to retrieve her boyfriend from the deep chasm of grief.
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