"Emma, you don't understand," I whispered, as my stomach plummeted. This was exactly what I had feared.
"No, Ethan," Emma said gently. "You don't understand."
"What don't I understand?" I exclaimed. "I know we haven't known each other long, Emma, but I like you. So much."
"I'm not worried about how long we've known each other Ethan, you don't think I've thought of this myself?" Emma hissed. "Sure, we get together, but what if we break up? What happens to Grayson and James? What happens with our fans? It's our job, Ethan. You of all people should know that."
"You think our relationship is a job?" I mumbled.
"Ethan, you know I didn't mean it that way," Emma said, irritated.
"We can work through it together, Emma! Aren't you at least a little bit curious about what could happen with us, if we at least tried?"
"I can't afford for there to be an 'us'." Emma said, effectively ending the conversation.
"Please take me home," she whispered. I looked back at her, into her blue eyes. They were full and her irises glistened.
"Okay." I choked out, tossing our cups into the trash and rushing to the car. I sped to her apartment as fast as I could, suppressing my emotions. And as much as I didn't want to, I walked her to the door.
"Thank you for taking me out," she said softly. Against my better judgment, I fell into her, leaning down and crushing her into my arms. It didn't feel like our late at night 'it will be okay' hugs, it felt like the last time I would ever touch her. I pressed my nose into her shoulder, taking deep breaths of her freshly laundered scent.
"I'm sorry," she whimpered into my ear. "I'm so sorry,"
"Me too," I said, collecting myself and clearing my throat. I opened my mouth to say something, but at the sight of her watering eyes, I couldn't manage. I turned around, swiftly walking to my car and wiping my eyes furiously. The drive home was the worst. I didn't turn the music on and I let the miserable feeling of the busy LA highway consume me. Bionically, I parked my car and entered the house. I locked the door. The click notified Grayson of my presence.
"How'd it go, man?" he cried, jogging out from his room. His face fell when he saw me. "Oh...shit."
"I told her I liked her. She said she can't be with me." I said simply.
"I'm sorry, Ethan," Grayson said, awkwardly clamping a hand down over my shoulder and hugging me.
Only then did I let the tears leak out of my eyes, arms resting weakly at my sides.
"Maybe it's meant to be this way, then," Grayson whispered, continuing to pat my back.
I squeezed my eyes shut. If it were meant to be like this, it wouldn't hurt so bad.
