The day before New Year's Eve, I was beside myself. Olivia was the only person I knew staying home, and I'd already stayed with her for two nights, inspiring my guest tolerance tweet. Olivia always giggled and said "It's really alright, Emma," but I knew I had overstepped. I packed my things, kissed her on the cheek and left her apartment, feeling exhausted. My apartment had slowly transitioned into a place that I only liked to be at during the day. I had unknowingly been accustomed to Ethan's presence every night, and his busy schedule abandoned me. I laid around all day long, basking in my alone time, but when 7:00 rolled around, I was texting every number in my phone to hang out with someone. This especially frustrated Grayson and James, because they were most definitely morning people, and wanted to film at 9 am. All the time.
Ethan, on the other hand, was open to 9 pm filming, as was I. That was almost the invisible divider between the four of us.
I unlocked my apartment door, wrinkling my nose at the smell of the lonely home. I really needed to take out the trash. It was Monday, so I didn't necessarily NEED to edit my 'year in review' video. I wanted to make it look nice, and take my time on it. I refused to let it become a rushed, stress-filled post. That's why I was posting it on Instagram, and maybe Twitter if I was feeling like it. So it wasn't associated with the stress of YouTube at all.
Only after taking the trash out did I call Ethan, who was in New Jersey.
"Hey, how are you?" he asked me.
"Good, good," I said, "I just got home from Olivia's. Trying to clean before the new year, I guess."
"Speaking of the new year," Ethan said. "I'm thinking of catching a flight home like, now, so I can be in LA for New Year's Eve. What do you think?"
"I think..." I began, choosing my words carefully, "You should do what you want?"
I was especially careful about being clingy.
"Do you want to spend New Year's together?" Ethan asked bluntly, a hint of confusion in his deep voice.
"Um, if you want to," I said.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked.
"What? No!" I exclaimed. "Why?"
"You're acting weird. Like you don't want to see me." Ethan said softly.
"I always want to see you!" I insist.
"Then say so! I'm asking you, Emma. I care about your opinion." Ethan explained.
"I want you to do what you want to. I know your family time is important to you, and I don't want to take away from that. My family doesn't live as far away as yours does." I said quickly.
"You're important to me, too," he said. I didn't say anything. "I'll make a decision. I'll let you know tonight,"
"Okay," I agreed. "Love you,"
"Love you, too, bye," and he hung up.
I pulled the phone away from my ear and stared at it. That was wrong. And weird. Of course I wanted to see him!
I pressed his contact again.
"Hello?" he answered.
"I want you to come spend New Year's Eve with me," I said boldly. "Please."
"I knew it. I booked a flight before I called you. I love you, okay? Can't spend another day without you," Ethan said proudly.
"Okay, see you soon, babe," I giggled, hanging up the phone.
Now I had to figure out what we should do, where we should go, what we should eat, what I should wear!
I texted James, asking what he and Ian were doing, and he agreed to come over for a few hours, but they had plans after midnight. Ethan informed me Grayson was coming home, too.
Great, same old squad for a few hours.
I had work today. Going to the grocery store was an adventure, as always, and I went out of my comfort zone and bought a veggie tray.
What a host.
Fancy cheese anyone?
Soon enough, it was 8:00, and James was banging on my door, an extravagant outfit on. It outshined my skirt and brandy top easily. But, really, when didn't James' outfits outshine everyone around him?
"Hey, Ian," I greeted. "Come on in, help yourself to fancy cheese,"
"Thanks, Emma," he grinned easily. I opened my mouth to ask him where Loren was, to tease him, but I realized that was probably his midnight plans. Huh.
I vaguely wondered if James had a hook up planned. I wouldn't put it past him.
Ethan had texted me they landed an hour ago, so they would be arriving soon. Just as I was pouring James sparkling water, the door popped open.
"I know the code," Ethan announced, pouncing on me. He bear hugged me, then proceeded to lift me up like a sack of potatoes over his shoulder.
"Ethan!" I screeched. I beat on his back, insisting he put me down. He was laughing his head off.
"Thank god she's wearing Nike pros," James scoffed, as the other just laughed. Finally, my feet were on the ground, and I placed two hands on his sturdy pecs and kissed him gently.
"Save it for midnight, you nasties," Grayson muttered. I flipped him off.
"You seem to have gotten stronger since I last saw you," I said, feeling up his shoulders.
"Jersey gym," Ethan shrugged, "Where's this vegetable tray you were flipping out about?"
And we spent the next four hours talking around my kitchen table. Not the New Years Eve rager I'm sure the people would expect, but it was nice. Refreshing.
"Well, we're going to head out, thanks for hosting, Em," Grayson announced, getting up.
"No problem, you're going with James and Ian?" I questioned. He nodded, winking at me. Whatever that meant. "Have fun,"
"You too," James answered for him, smiling sneakily.
"Goodbye, James," I said forcefully, shutting the door behind them. I turned around to see Ethan grinning at me.
"Time to watch movies, yeah?" he murmured.
"Let me change, you pick," I told him, running up the stairs.
When I got back downstairs, Bird Box was queued up.
"You would," I said disapprovingly. "I just tweeted about this dumb movie. I'm ashamed."
"I saw it," Ethan commented. "That's why we're watching. And if you get scared...stop being a pussy,"
"Sounds good," I said, curling up next to him. My eyes must have closed because when they opened again, we were watching a news broadcast, and it was 11:55.
"Sorry for waking you, but..." Ethan whispered.
"No, thank you, I didn't want to miss," I said. "Hang on!"
I scrambled into the kitchen for glasses and a bottle of champagne. I poured two, slipping on the cement floor towards Ethan, and plopping down next to him.
"5, 4, 3, 2, 1," and the ball dropped, just like that.
"Happy New Year, Emma," Ethan whispered, nudging my cheek and pushing his lips against mine. He tasted like cheap champagne and I couldn't have been happier.
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tysm for 100k reads. insane.
