Last Christmas You Broke My Heart

CHAPTER SIXTEEN : Run Anya, Run!

"Okay lang, don't feel guilty saying that", sabi ko kay Jason. My chest is aching, knowing that he still talks about her like that. Pero hindi ko naman maalis yung pinagsamahan nila diba? Parte yun ng buhay niya.

"Ang mahalaga nandito nako ngayon sa buhay mo at pwede mo na akong iyakan", I continued trying so hard to fight for his attention and love. Wala na eh. Nahulog na talaga ako sa love trap na'to.

From this moment, I know it deep inside my head and heart that I will be battling with Trish' ghost. I know it myself that she will always get between me and Jason. I know it all too well. Pero bakit parang willing ako sumugal na tanggapin si Jason sa puso ko kahit alam kong di pa siya committed sa akin. Is it foolishness or selfishness? It is? Isn't it? Isn't it?

When I looked back to him, I witness him smiled at me with heavy eyes again. And in this moment I can't seem to comprehend what he is thinking. Overthinking now overtook my mind. Truly, a man's heart and mind is a mystery yet to be answered.

￭￭￭

Monday. 10:00AM sa bleachers. I'm with Jason and we are back to reviewing before the exam. Na-postpone kasi ang review namin last time because of what happened. So here we are procrastinating a day before the exam.

I turn to Jason as he is eargely solving a problem. Nakakatuwa naman dahil mukhang pursigido siya. Well, babagsak na daw kasi siya eh kaya siguro nag-aaral siyang mabuti. Ako naman, sa tingin ko medyo safe pa ako so far pero kailangan ko ring galingan para safe na talaga ako hanggang finals. Looking at him, feeling ko ang talino ko. Ngayon lang ako nag-tutor sa buong buhay ko ah. Nakakainis! Enebe!

At bago pa tuluyang lumaki ang ulo ko y bumalik na ako sa pagrereview.

Minutes later ay tinawag ako ni Jason. "Anya suko na ako. Hindi ko masagutan. Paturo naman oh?", sabi niya as he sit next to me handling a sheet of paper he is solving.

I scanned the paper and read it carefully. Lumipas ang segundo at binabasa ko pa rin yung question. Shocks! Hindi ko alam sagutan 'to!

Nararamdaman ko nang tumutulo yung pawis ko mula sa noo ko papuntang sintido ko at napatingin na lang ako kay Jason. Siya naman, nakatingin lang sakin at nag-aantay ng sasabihin ko.

Lumipas yata ang madaming segundo nagtitinginan lang kami at and nagawa ko lang ay ngumiti at magpacute na lang sa kanya dahil hindi ko alam ang isasagot.

"So hindi mo alam?", tanong niya with a poker face.

Ngumiti lang ako sa kanya at pakiramdam ko ang init ng mukha ko. Ang lakas ng loob ko, eh hindi ko naman pala alam i-solve yung pinapa-compute ko sa kanya.

"Anya I trusted you", sabi niya with sarcastic voice at ma pailing-iling pa.

So I shift into beast mode. "Wow ha, ikaw na nga tinuruan, ikaw pa choosy. Aba kung ayaw mo, edi wag mo!", sabi at inumpisahan ko nang iligpit yung gamit ko. Agad naman akong pinigilan ni Jason at paulit-ulit na nag-sorry.