Iron Dad Oneshots (Under Editing)

A series of messages

Tony: Hey, do you have a preference of what weekend you come over?

Peter: Motherfucking Jesse Eisenberg Jesus Christ fuck dude motherfuckin Facebook movie bullshit Jesus can you fucking believe this shit

Tony: I have no idea what we're talking about right now. Also, language

Peter: God damn created Facebook then fucking lawyers and shit right fucking Winklevoss twins god damn rowing the boat fuck yo shit I can't even fucking believe this shit have you seen this shit fuck I just watched this shit fuck Jesse Eisenberg man

Tony: Pete, you're scaring me.

Peter: Motherfucking Spider-man Spider-man you put in the time fuck put in the time motherfucking built shit with this bare hands fucking best friend shit Jesse Eisenberg I'm very tired

Tony: No problem, kid. Get some sleep.

Peter: No man I'll just talk about the Facebook movie all day shit man you have to be so interested in the shit I have to say about the Facebook movie fuck dude I just watched it a year and a half ago fuck Jesse Eisenberg man he fucked over Spider-man crazy Winklevoss twins rowing Trent Resin Or did the soundtrack fuck this guy who invented Facebook I don't like dying I can't think of who the fuck invented Facebook All I can think is who played the guy who invented Facebook who the fuck invented Facebook

Peter: MARK ZUCKERBERG.

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Tony: Hey, stay at the school, Happy's coming to pick you up

Peter: sure thing tin man

Tony: Excuse me?

Tony: Was it Clint?

Peter: It was Clint

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MJ: Wassup fuckers

Ned: Why are you on my phone?

Peter: Why are you on my phone?

Peter: dangit

MJ: FUCK U THATS Y

Ned: I'll never get over the fact that you use text slang, MJ

Peter: saaammmeee

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Peter: Here's a picture of my friends and I T-posing a decathlon practice

Shuri: Aww you look so cute!!

Peter: I look like a gay turtle

Peter: 😂😂😂

Shuri: But you're MY gay turtle

Peter: I LITERALLY KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO SAY THOSE EXACT WORDS

Peter: IM SHOOKETH

Shuri: :3 cuz I looooovvvveeee yooooouuuuuu

Peter: John Laurens is QUAKING

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Peter: Help, girls are flirting with me

Ned: oof

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Peter: omfg

Peter: guys

Peter: I bit into an egg roll today

Peter: I don't even like egg rolls, but Tony said they were really good

Peter: so I was like "what the heck?"

Peter: Not only did it burn my tongue so bad

Peter: but it tasted like boiled cabbage

Peter: like

Peter: wtf

Peter: I hate egg rolls

MJ: omg 😂

Ned: I love egg rolls fite me

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Peter: wouldn't YOU like to know, Weather Boy

Tony: Peter, what the actual fuck

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Peter: H E L P M E

Tony: Jesus, what???

Peter: Oh, I was just choking on popcorn for a sec

Tony: I'm gonna have a heart attack

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Peter: if you wanna fight me, then come F I G H T M E

Steve: Peter, we will not be fighting you

Peter: F I G H T M E