Tyrus: Love is Timeless

Chapter 14

Tjs pov

I couldn't keep letting laycee worry about me so I agreed to dinner after passing it up every night since I got home. 

Everyday day these past 4 days I'd get up late, shower, and lay on the couch. Staring at the walls contemplating this new void in my life. This feeling I couldn't even call a feeling. I felt black within - like someone carved my heart out of my chest. I was walking dead basically. Everything was a haze during dinner but I know I responded on cue. I knew I was forging my emotions enough.

 Later as I slept I thought about my dads condition . i woke up looking up clinical depression. I know I couldn't diagnose myself but it made me understand what my dad went through. I sympathized with him. I went back to bed - the sweet slumber that was as close as I could get to death for now. 

(Next morning) 

As I sat at the desk this sunday afternoon i heard laycee call for me loud and repeatedly. I walked out towards the kitchen. Honestly I had no idea what to expect since she sounded urgent but I still took my time walking down the steps 

Laycees POV

I spent all night thinking of ways I could get through to tj. I conjured up one plan, threw it out then started another. Then finally it hit me as dawn approached. 

I retook all of dads pictures and hid the originals. I was doing this for tj and I had to. Hes not himself and I'm not losing my brother like I lost my father. 

When tj walked in I picked up dads picture ready to begin to get my brother back.

Tjs POV

When I walked in laycee had all of dads pictures on the counter. "What are you doing? " I asked. " you remember him? " she asked me pointing to the picture. "I thought u loved him tj" she said in a rush. 

I shrugged but then she tore the picture in half. "you loved taking dads advice you know" she continued then picked up a pic of dad and I. "Be yourself or you lose your authenticity" laycee continued and proceeded to pick up a match. 

"What are you doing? " I yelled as she burned the picture. "Well dads advice doesn't matter to you so he doesn't either anymore" she kept burning all the pictures and I ran to her. She ran faster than me and burned more pictures and picked up water and blurred the rest. "If dad is dead then his memories should be too! " laycee yelled. 

"Stop!" I yelled over and over. I sobbed over dads pictures taking in the ashes of his pics like I did with his soul the day he died. "why???!! Laycee! " I continued. I stood and walked to her, "you kno I love dad. Even when he was sad and depressed "I said. "Then live being you dammit! My brother! A friend! Funny! smart! Athletic! Dammit tj! Dad would want you to be you! Its not right to reject yourself cuz mom hates who you are! " laycee yelled. 

I fell in her arms sobbing. "I love you laycee I love dad. I can't stand this pain I have inside. I need it to stop" I heaved. "Be you then. Even if your not happy all the time - dont be an actor in this life" and she placed a photo in my hand of dad and I. "He would still love you tj" laycee told me. 

I cracked - I was angry, tired, sad, happy, and amused all at once. The tears kept coming and I held dads pictures close to my heart. I don't know how laycee did this but I was glad we didn't really lose the pictures. I sat crying in laycees arms as she cradled me. I needed this - the comfort she gave and the love. "You knew this would work"I whispered after time passed. "Dad wouldnt have wanted you to take his path - live tj for dad, for me, even cyrus" she whispered.